Finally Falling
by theworldismyoyster
Summary: A love story between two very unlikely people. After Beck breaks up with Jade, how will his new feelings affect his friendship with one crazy little red head? Rated M for possible future lemons. R&R please  disclaimer: I don't own Victorious  :
1. Suddenly My Choice is Clear

Ch1

It started off like any other day at Hollywood Arts. I was hanging out by the lockers with my friends. I was telling them about my cool new thing I had bought from the Sky catalogue.

"You see, it's a toaster AND a foot warmer! Hahaha, you can put your bread in this bit, and put your feet in that hole right there. It's cool right?"

They all looked at me like I was mad. I was used to it, I knew I was different, or "special" as my Mom put it. I go to a therapist once a week, who tries to make me normal, but I don't think he's very good, because I don't think I've become any more normal yet.

"Cat, why do you need a foot-warming toaster?" Andre asked. I didn't really have an answer; I just thought it was pretty cool. It was a unique thing, and I'm pretty unique, so I thought I should buy it. Yeah, that's what I'll say.

"Well, I bought it because it's unique just like me!"

"You are an absolute whack-job. You know it's only a matter of time before some men turn up at your doorstep and take you away to live in a cell with padded walls…" I shrieked in fear. Jade was my friend, but she could be really mean sometimes. I sometimes wondered if she really liked me. I wish I was more like her, or Tori. They have other friends who don't avoid them in the corridors because they are freaks. Tori just says Jade is jealous of me because I'm nice and she isn't, but I'm not so sure. Besides, I've been in a padded cell before, and they are actually quite fun.

"Hey Jade, quit bullying Cat. You're only depressed because Beck isn't in school again!" Tori always feels the need to stick up for me. I think she feels sorry for me; I act like a child half the time and I think she feels the need to act like a big sister and look after me.

"Yeah and we all know the reason he isn't here don't we! He's too chicken to face me!" Jade had just split up with Beck three days ago, and he hadn't been in since. It was usual for them to split up; they always get back together after a few days. Beck had never taken it like this before though…

"No wonder he's not in after what you treated him like!"

"I don't need you to tell me how to treat my boyfriend, Tori! He wouldn't answer my texts, or my calls. How dare he ignore me! I should be his priority always!"

As Tori and Jade continued to argue, Andre, Robbie and I backed off slowly. Their arguments usually ended up with someone getting hurt, usually Tori. It's best not to get caught up in the middle of it.

"Let's just run and get a teacher," Robbie mumbled to us "before we have to take another trip to hospital."

"No, stay!" Rex replied to Robbie. "Chick fights are always worth watching!"

I wandered off towards my locker to get my books for the next class, while Andre and Robbie went to find a teacher to try to stop Jade from ripping Tori's limbs off her body. I thought back to when Jade and Beck were fighting. It was quite a messy break up this time. Tori and I were there, but couldn't hear what was being said because we were at Andre's birthday party and the music was loud. We were listening around the corner for about ten minutes until Beck rushed past us in tears.

I'd never seen Beck cry before. He didn't seem like the type of guy to cry. He was always so cool, and relaxed. It's why he can cope with Jade. Her fiery personality contrasts to his relaxed personality, and in a way, they bring out the best in each other. I always secretly thought that Jade wasn't good enough for Beck. She treated him like dirt, and he took it. Beck deserves someone better, someone who would appreciate him. Someone like…

No I can't say it. Jade is my friend, and so is Beck. That's all he ever will be. I admit I have feelings for Beck, but it will never happen. I'm a freak, an absolute weirdo; Beck would never go for me. I've seen him look at me before, in a way that made me feel light and fluttery, but I've also seen him look at me like the others do, with a mixture of amusement and pity.

I continued to get my books, when I heard a guy's voice whisper my name.

"What the…" I spun around, trying to see who was trying to get my attention. Someone grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to the janitor's closet. He had a hood pulled right over his head so you couldn't make out his features. He locked the door behind us and switched off the light.

"Leave me alone! What the hell are you d…" I was cut short by him pressing his lips firmly against mine, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I briefly relaxed into his arms and responded to the kiss, before remembering that I was probably kissing a total stranger. I pulled away from them quickly and tried to gather my thoughts.

"Who the hell are you?" He pulled down his hood, but I still couldn't make out his face in the darkness.

"Don't you recognise me?" Oh my…

"Beck? What the hell was that for? I mean, why did you...? I'm really confused!" I squeaked, breaking down into tears.

"Cat! Cat, I'm sorry! Don't, don't cry. Please, I didn't want to scare you, please just listen Cat!"

"No, Beck, no! Just leave me alone!" With that, I unlocked the door of the closet and ran. I ran as fast as I could into the toilets.

It took me a while to calm down and think. What had just happened? Beck had kissed me. Ok, so why did I react like that? Because I was shocked, and very confused. Where is Beck now? I doubt he's still in school after the way I just treated him. How must he feel? How should I know how he feels. He just kissed me. He just came into school and kissed me. Why? How should I know! Why? Why, why, why, why why!


	2. I Knew That Only You and I

Ch2

My head hurt, and I felt dizzy. I came out of the toilet cubicle I had been sat in for what felt like days, and looked in the mirror. My face was a mess. Why would anyone like me? I'm a freak, a weirdo. Beck must have lost his mind; Jade has finally sent him loopy.

All of a sudden the door opened behind me. I froze, hoping it was someone I didn't know.

"Cat there you are! I've been worried, why haven't you been in class all morning?" I turned around slowly to see Tori standing there, smiling at me. Her smile quickly faded when she saw my face.

"Cat, what's wrong? What happened? Has Jade said something horrible again, because I swear…" I couldn't help it, I burst into tears again. Hearing Jade's name just made guilt bubble up inside me, and emotions to cause havoc inside me.

"Cat, Cat oh my god what's wrong?" She rushed over to me and hugged me, and I just broke down. She stood there cradling me for what felt like hours, before I finally felt able to speak.

"B.. Beck he… he just… and I didn't know what to do, and I ran! I… I just ran and..." I sobbed between every word and Tori listened with a confused expression on her face.

"You saw Beck? When, where? How was he, did he say?" I couldn't stand the questions, my head felt like it was about to explode. I felt the floor rush from underneath me and my eyes rolled back into my head. I felt my head make contact with the ground and heard Tori shout for help.

"Is she ok? What was wrong with her, why was she upset?" I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the light. I was on a sofa in the school guidance councillor's room. How did I get here? Owey, my head! No more questions, thinking makes my brain hurt.

"I don't know, she'd been missing from class all morning, and at the start of lunch I went into the toilets and she was just stood in there. She looked like she'd been crying for hours!"

I sat up slowly, and everyone in the room turned to look at me. Lane, the school councillor was watching me with surveying eyes, Andre and Tori both looked at me with worried expressions on their faces and Robbie was sat in the corner glancing at me suspiciously.

"Cat! You scared me so much, thank God you're ok!" Tori rushed over to me (yet again) and squeezed me tightly.

"Are you feeling ok, Little Red?" Andre's reassuring voice steadied me, and I started to think clearly again.

"Yes, I'm ok now thanks. I… I want to talk to Tori though, alone." If I was going to tell someone, I think Tori was definitely the right person to tell.

"Sure, just come and get me when you're done." Lane smiled at me and left, followed by Andre. Robbie however, lingered to stare at me for a second longer, almost with accusing eyes. I stared nervously back at him, but he slowly turned and walked out of the room.

"Ok Cat, what's bothering you?"

I sighed. "Beck was in school earlier, when you and Jade were fighting. I was by my locker and… he whispered my name. And I turned around but I couldn't see anybody…"

"So you imagined him?" Did she really think I was that crazy?

"Noooo, let me finish! I turned around and there was nobody there. But then, someone grabbed my arm, and dragged me towards the janitor's closet. I struggled to get away, they were too strong. They took me in, turned off the lights and locked the door.

Tori gasped "You must have been petrified!"

"Oh I was! And then it happened…"

"What happened?" She was perched on the edge of her seat like I was telling a thrilling action tale.

"Beck. He kissed me." I waited in silence for her to reply, but she just sat there with her jaw hanging, staring at me.

"Talk Tori please! It scared me and I ran and I don't know what to do!" I felt my eyes welling up again.

"O… ok, well… I'm sure he's just, y'know. Confused. Confused because he broke up with Jade and… Jade was a big part of his life until three days ago and, well, he probably just had… hormones and stuff and needed to get rid of them ,and you were probably just the first person he saw."

"It wasn't like that, he whispered my name, and he was hiding by the side of my locker waiting. He split up with Jade dozens of times before, why is he acting like this now? He was crying, remember, at the party? What if he likes me? Ohhh, why does he like me?" I could barely get my words out, I just ended up squeaking.

"Don't worry, he can't. If Jade's his type of girl, you're the last person he'd want to go out with. And if he does have a thing for you, he'll get over it as soon as he gets back with Jade…"

But what if I don't want him to get over it! What If I wanted him to kiss me, what if that's what I've wanted for a long time?" I saw her eyes widen in shock, and I instantly regretted what I said.

"Cat, what are you saying? You like Beck?"

Enough. Enough questions, enough surprises, enough of it all. I screamed out loud, causing Tori to fall backwards and I rushed out of the room. I ran down the corridor, knocking people out the way and spilling coffee down Sikowitz's front, but I didn't stop. I ran out of the doors of school and down the road.

Why was I acting like this? If I liked Beck, why was him kissing me such a problem. Why did it scare me so much? Getting together with him was the last thing on my mind. Even if I was comfortable with the thought of getting together with him, I would be too scared of how Jade would react. I was too young to die.

I carried on running down the road. I was out of breath, but I didn't care. I just needed to get away from it all. And then I saw him, in his car parked next to the sidewalk. The last person I needed to see right now.


	3. Were Standing Here

Ch3

I started to back away but he saw me. He leapt out and dashed over to me. I squealed as I caught my heel on the concrete and fell over backwards.

"Don't come any closer!" I yelled in panic.

"Cat, it's me, I'm not gonna hurt you. We need to talk."

"I don't wanna talk to you! You kissed me, even though you're Jade's boyfriend…"

"We broke up!"

"But you'll get back together!"

"No we won't. It's different this time."

I looked at him in bewilderment. He looked so sad… like a lost puppy. I wanted to hug him, but then I remembered what he did and I felt angry. How could he betray Jade, and not feel guilty about it.

"No!" I yelled. "You kissed me because of, like, hormones and stuff!"

It was his turn to be confused. "Horm… Cat, I broke up with Jade. I broke up with her! You want to know why?"

"I don't think I do."

"Well I'm going to tell you. Jade won't have told you. I broke up with Jade because I don't love her anymore! To tell you the truth, I don't think I have ever loved her."

"That's bullshit!" Yeas, even I can swear when I'm angry.

"No Cat, its fact. She's never been the one for me." I laughed. So he has lost his mind. He finally has cracked under the pressure of dating Jade. I can't blame him; people can only take so much Jade. The same as people can only take so much of me I suppose.

"So who is the one for you? Me? You can't be serious." He pulled me up to my feet and held me in front of him. He looked me up and down with that look, the look I had seen before, the look that made me feel like I was floating on clouds. I closed my eyes waiting for his response. Nothing. He let go of me and I heard him walk away. Is that it? He's just going to leave it at that?

"Come back here. Talk to me!"

"You want me to come back?" He was angry now. "I thought you wanted to get as far away from me as possible. Why should I talk to you? You can't understand, you won't ever understand. You're in cloud cuckoo land most of the time, and you don't realise what's going on in the real world. I can't deal with you right now; I can't cope with explaining things to you like you're a five year old!"

"Leave me alone!" Yes he touched a nerve. How dare he call me a five year old, how dare he judge me. What does he know about how my mind works? How dare he tell me that I won't understand? Because I understand perfectly now. He wanted to get this off his chest. He wanted to hurt me! I felt anger, and confusion, and heartache! For a split second, I thought what I dared to think. I thought the kiss was real, and he wanted me. How could I be so stupid? Even for me, that was stupid.

"That's fine by me. See you around." And he left. He just got in his car and left. I stood on the pavement, blankly staring into space. I then sat down, still staring. What was I going to do now? Go home? No, I couldn't. My Mom was home, and she'd ask questions. I could go back to school, to face more questions. I'd have to; I'll just try to avoid my friends. Especially Jade. I don't think I could face seeing her.

I climbed in through the window in Sikowitz's classroom. It was empty. I went down the corridor and into the lunchroom. It was also empty. I looked at my watch, and realised last lesson had just started. It was Theatre Studies. Robbie and Andre took it (and Beck usually) but not Tori or Jade. I had to risk it.

I headed towards the Black Box theatre, and went inside. As I took my seat, heads turned in my direction. Andre smiled at me sympathetically. Robbie, however, didn't even look at me. He was staring at the teacher, but with glazed eyes. He stayed that way for the rest of the lesson, and when the bell went he rushed out.

"Robbie! Hey Robbie, wait up!" He didn't hear me, or he just chose not to hear me. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Cat, I wouldn't even try." Andre held my shoulder tightly, gluing me to the spot.

"Why? Have I done something wrong?"

"No, no you haven't. Robbie… well Robbie's just feeling guilty."

"What has he done?"

"Umm, it's more something he said."

"What has he said?"

"He saw you with Beck. Kissing him. He doubled back after we went to get a teacher because Rex wanted to see the fight. But he saw you being dragged into the closet. He went to help but saw you and Beck through the glass. And then…"

"Then what? Andre, tell me!"

"He told Jade."

I felt sick. My stomach flipped and my head wobbled. I wanted to die. Just let me die now, quickly, with no pain. Jade knows. She is going to hurt me. Badly. She has never hurt me before, not physically. She has always liked me. Well, being liked by Jade means not getting beaten up and only receiving a small amount of verbal abuse. She could crush me. She's taller and a lot stronger than me. Heck, she could crush anyone, even if they were twice her size. Oh God, I can't breathe!

"Cat! Cat breathe! Please Cat, she's gone home, she's not here!"

"She's going to hurt me!" Oh no, here come the tears; and the squeaking. Why has so much gone wrong today?

"She's not angry. She knows you didn't do anything wrong. Robbie told her, and sure at that point she was angrier than I have ever seen her before. But Tori explained everything to her. She doesn't blame you, she blames Beck!"

"She shouldn't be angry." What was I saying? She has every right to be angry! Wait…no. They split up, why would she be angry? He split up with her; probably breaking her heart… does she have a heart? Oh my word, Beck was right. I do have the mental age of a five year old. I can't cope with all of this mature thinking.

"Little Red, they are boyfriend and girlfriend! He kissed someone else, wouldn't anyone be angry?"

"They broke up! He said he doesn't love her anymore!" Oops.

"What? When did he say this?"

I sighed. I blinked. I sighed again. "I saw him when I ran out of school. We… talked. And yelled. And he left."

"Cat, go and talk to Jade."

"What? Doesn't she need to be alone?"

"No she doesn't. She needs to know. Go and talk to her."

Then I left to go to the lockers. I saw Tori and asked a favour.

"Hey Tori."

"Cat! I was so worried where have you been?"

"Never mind. Can you drive me to Jade's house?"

"Jade's house? Is that a good idea?"

"I don't know. Will you?"

"Yeah sure, I guess. Just let me grab my keys."


	4. And Beautiful, Is All I See

Ch4

I was at Jade's front door. It was painted black and peeling. It could only be Jade's door, I thought. Even her door suits her. Ok, now I'm delaying. Just knock, Cat. Do it. *knock knock* Well done. Oh God, now I hear footsteps. She's coming to the door! Ohhh, nooo. Well what did you expect, you did knock!

"Cat, what the hell are you doing here?" She looks annoyed!

"I'm leaving!" I want to run, really badly.

"NO! Stay Cat, we need to talk."

"Ohhh okay."

She dragged me in. Her bedroom is scary. Really, seriously creepy. She has pictures up on her wall of relatives whose eyes watch you, and headless dolls lined up on her shelf. I sat on the edge of her bed, and I could feel myself shaking.

"So. You saw Beck, am I right?"

"Yeah, I… saw him."

"And he was quite friendly towards you, right?"

"Right! But I didn't want him to be." Was that a lie?

"That's fine. I'm not angry. With you anyway."

"But Jade, you broke up. I'm not saying I wanted him to, but doesn't he have the right now to kiss who he likes?"

"NOT when he kisses one of your best friends WHO HE'S SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH!"

I fell off her bed onto the floor. Her last sentence caused me to nearly have a heart attack. How is he in love with me? She wasn't there; she didn't see the way he yelled at me. I didn't know she thought of me as one of her best friends, aww that's sweet… oh wait. Jade, sweet?

"He's not in love with me. Trust me Jade, you weren't there, but he really…"

"He IS in love with you. We broke up because… he told me he loved someone else. Someone who makes him feel happy and who is crazy and funny and sweet. Someone who he's known for a long time, and has always had feelings before. Unless he's talking about that nub of a girl Tori, I think we know who that leaves."

"Err… who?"

"You! God you're so slow."

"No Jade, he hates me! He yelled at me and made me cry and he just walked away!"

"He wasn't walking away from you; he was trying to walk away from his feelings. I don't think he wants to feel how he does about you. He thinks of you as like a little kid, who he loves like a sister and wants to look after. God knows why I ever went out with him, soppy bastard…"

"You loved him! And now you're upset, and you want him back."

"No! I never want him back. Not now I know his true feelings."

"So you're saying he's in love with me, but doesn't want us to be because he wants us to be friends?"

"Well done. You've finally grasped the concept of listening."

"No need to be vicious! I think I need to go home, think about things."

"Think! Wow, that'll be a first for you."

"Please Jade, just drive me home!"

"Fine!" She grabbed her keys and I followed her to her car. As she drove there was an awkward silence in the car that I decided to fill with a song.

"You don't have to be afraid to put your dreams in action…"

"I hate that song!"

"Oh, well what do you want me to sing?"

"Nothing, look your home. Oh, and if you see Robbie before I do, tell him he's a tale-telling moron."

I left her car and headed towards my door. I looked behind me to shout bye to Jade but she wasn't listening. She seemed to be singing to herself as she started to drive off. I smiled to myself. Visiting Jade had made me feel happier. That's the first time Jade has ever made me feel happier. Now I am starting to make sense of everything.

I like Beck… Beck likes me. Ok, Beck doesn't want to like me, but I don't feel comfortable about liking Beck. Jade doesn't want to be with him any longer. Beck is as confused about his feelings as I am, but would it work out? I'm very different to Beck. But Beck was very different to Jade, and their relationship lasted over two years. Oh phooey, I am still confused. Should I make a move?

That night the same conversation kept playing over and over in my mind. Jade's voice kept ringing in my ears, "someone who makes him feel happy and who is crazy and funny and sweet". He must have really said that about me. They certainly weren't Jade's words. What do I like about Beck? I can sure make a list:

"He's relaxed. He can calm me down when I'm in one of my rages like nobody else can. He's always sympathetic, and listens to you. He's mega cute, and I love his hair. He has beautiful big brown eyes, like mine! Oh and he always smells nice, like fresh. He's really smart, and he's not scared of anything!"

I carried on talking to myself as if someone was listening.

"Ok, I love him. I really do. How could I have not seen this before? Am I really this dizzy that I miss what is right in front of my eyes? Oh gosh, Beck must think I'm so stupid, he will never want to go out with me now! I have to talk to him. If he's not in school tomorrow, I'm going round to his house. Yes, that worked with Jade, she didn't even yell, well, not directly at me anyway. I can go and see him."

Sure enough, the next day he wasn't in. I was feeling so nervous by the end of the day I felt physically sick and spent the last ten minutes of the last lesson in the toilets an inch away from throwing up. I heard the bell, and rushed out of the toilets up to Tori.

"Toooriii. Hi Tori, can I ask you a favour?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Beck's house"

"What! No way Cat."

"Oh please, please you know I love you right? I'd drive you around if my therapist said I was allowed to drive!"

"Grrr, fine! But I'm coming in with you this time; I'm not just dropping you off."

"I've got to do this myself. I'm not a kid, y'know?"

The last sentence stumped her. It was a good sentence, for me anyway. It sounded all grown up and clever.

"Ok, fine, but you ring me if anything goes wrong, promise?"

"Promise."


	5. It's Only You I Know It's True

Ch5

Here I was. Beck's front door. Well, more of his… door. It was at the side of his RV. Anyway, I heard music coming from the radio inside. Ok, I thought, so he's in. *knock knock*. I felt butterflies dancing around inside me. The door swung open. Beck stood there with Jogging pants on and (gulp) no shirt. His hair was messed up and he looked like he hadn't shaved in a while. His eyes widened as he saw me. For a second I thought he was going to slam the door in my face.

"H… hello"

"Hi" my voice sounded confident. How did that happen?

"You… you wanna come in?"

"Yes, please"

He stood back from the door letting me in. It smelt quite musty in there, and dirty clothes were scattered across the floor. There was a line of empty beer bottles next to his bed. I sat down on his sofa and stared at the ceiling, He sat rigidly on his bed, so unlike the Beck I knew, and stared straight at me.

An awkward silence followed. This time, filling it with a song didn't seem right. So I spoke instead.

"I'm sorry." I said suddenly. "I know I can go a bit crazy, and get very emotional, but I know now what happened and I was an idiot and, I'm sorry." Oh I hate fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry. I must have scared you, I didn't think. It was in the heat of the moment, I just acted on my emotions, I should have thought it through more, I'm so sorry Cat, I really am!"

I stood up, feeling more confident. It was now or never. I walked over to him and reached out my hand. He took it and stood next to me. He still smelt great, even though he mustn't have washed in days. He ran a warm hand through my red velvet cupcake hair, and I shivered. He grabbed my back with the other hand and pulled me up close to him. I could feel his breath on me and my heart started to race.

I closed my eyes and leaned towards him, and he did the same to me. Our lips collided and I felt fireworks explode everywhere inside me. Our lips parted and our tongues met, dancing around together. I felt like flying, I was tingling all over. After what must have been a few minutes we broke apart, red lipped and with our hair sticking out at all different angles. I started giggling, and before I could stop I was in fits of laughter.

"Looks like someone enjoyed that!" Beck said, and he smiled at me. I swear after what I'd felt like for the past few days, it was like I had never felt happier. After I finally recovered from laughing, a thought struck me.

"So what happens with us now?"

"It's Friday right?" I nodded at him. "So I need this week-end to sort my life out. I'll see you at school on Monday, and we can, well, talk? And kiss. We can do that a lot." I laughed again.

"Yay! But not in front of people. I don't think we should tell them just yet."

"No, but we have to be clever about this. Jade finds out just about everything that goes on, so leave the cover ups to me, ok? I know how to handle Jade."

"Yeah. But I mean, we've not even decided on anything yet, right? We still need to… talk and everything, right?"

"Oh yeah, sure, yeah." He smiled at me and his amazing brown eyes lit up. I'm pretty sure my eyes lit up to, the way I was feeling, I'm surprised my whole body didn't resemble a light bulb.

The week-end went sooo slowly. Between the two trips to the hospital (first, my brother breaks his arm jumping out of his bedroom window trying to fly, and second he has to have his cast off as he tried to scratch his arm under the cast with a pen and it got stuck up there) and my trip to the therapist (who gave me some new medication to "mellow down" my mood swings), all I did was think about Beck.

By the time Sunday night came round, I was nearly tearing my hair out with frustration. What had Beck been sorting out? I hoped he wasn't planning on telling anyone about us, especially Jade. No, he agreed that would be a bad idea. For the time being, anyway. Obviously everyone would have to find out one day about us. Grr, what was I saying. There wasn't even any "us" yet. It was all just going to happen on Monday. I lay in bed that night and dreamed about Beck. I was becoming obsessed.

I skipped into school on Monday, feeling on top of the world.

"Morning Andre!" I yelled, stuffing my books into my locker "D'you know what day it is? Monday! Yay for Mondays!"

"Err, Little Red?" He said "I thought I'd better tell you that… Beck's in today. And I don't know what's going on with him, so I'd just stay clear of him for now, yeah?"

"Ohh no, it's fine. We've spoken, it's all sorted. It was just… a mistake, that's all."

"Oh, ok then." He sounded unconvinced.

I saw Tori standing at her locker talking to Robbie. I skipped over to them.

"Hi guys!" I yelled.

"Hey Cat." Tori looked at me, trying to determine my mood. I smiled back at her, and she relaxed. "Robbie has something he wants to say to you."

Robbie's eyes shifted guiltily to the ground and he shuffled his feet.

"I'm so sorry Cat for telling Jade like that, I just saw you and Beck and I jumped to conclusions. I didn't mean to tell Jade, honest, but I just…"

"Oh he meant to all right!" Rex butted in "he just wanted to cause trouble so that he could see another female bust up."

"That is so not true! Rex, how could you say that? I hate seeing people fight, you know that!"

"True, you are a wimp. Remember that time I beat you up, last year, and you didn't stop crying for hours! Hahaha, good times!"

"I can't believe you brought that up, Rex! It was one time, and anyway…"

Let's leave them to it," Tori mumbled at me, and we walked in the direction of the toilets. They were empty, so we turned to each other and began the inevitable conversation.

"So, you and Beck, right?"

"Me and Beck what?"

"You're together!"

"Oh, I mean, no! Where did you hear that?"

"It's obvious! You went to see him, and then the next minute you're skipping around like some loved-up Easter bunny! You and Beck are so together!"

"Ok, we've not decided yet, but you can't tell anyone!"

Tori started squeaking and I couldn't help but join in. We did that until I heard the door open behind us.

"What are you two freaks squealing about?" Oh. No. Jade walked in at the worst possible time. How the hell was I going to get out of this one?

"Hi, Jade what are you doing here?"

"Using the toilet, generally what you come in here for. Stop changing the subject. Why are you squealing?"

I froze. So did Tori. We looked at each other in shock. I then said the first thing that came into my head.

"Tori's had some… very exciting news." Think, Cat, think? What could be exciting news?

"Tori's… pregnant!"

"WHAT?" Was the reaction from both Tori and Jade, who then looked at each other and scowled.

"Yeah right, Tori couldn't get laid if she stood on a street corner in her underwear." I groaned at her rude comment, but she ignored me and carried on talking. "What the hell were you getting excited about?"

All of a sudden, there was a loud bang coming from outside. The three of us rushed out to see what had happened. The sight that met our eyes was one that was both amusing and shocking. Sikowitz had been carrying dozens of coconuts, which had all cascaded out of his arms in the busy hallway onto the floor. This meant several people tripped over the coconuts and fell onto the floor, pulling other people down with them. The result was a pile up of at least twenty people, with coconuts rolling around the floor and Sikowitz rushing around after them.

"DAMN!" he yelled. "Fresh from the supermarket this morning! And now they're covered in floor and teenager germs!" We all laughed, and Tori proceeded forwards to help some of the people up off the floor. I took the opportunity to sneak away from Jade to avoid her quizzing me on what we were getting excited about. I rushed over to my locker, fortunately without her noticing. However, someone else was waiting for me there.

"Hi gorgeous." Beck smiled at me.

"Heey Beck" I laughed, and he grinned even more.

"Want to go and talk?"

"Mmmm, maybe not just yet". It may look suspicious if we go off together somewhere no one can see us, and people were already staring at us. Maybe the words spread about us kissing…

He saw me looking around and got what I was thinking. "Good point. Meet me backstage in the theatre at lunchtime." Don't tell anyone".

"Umm, Beck?"

"Yes?"

"Tori knows."

"You told her?"

"Nooo! She guessed, because I was all happy and she knows we spoke."

"She knows not to tell anyone, right?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course."

"All right. I've got to go to class. See you later beautiful!"

I giggled "Shh! Someone will hear!"


	6. It Has to Be

Hey, got my first review last chapter, so yaaaay! Ok, just wanted to let you know this chapter is really long, about twice as long as the other chapters, because it all kept flowing into my head and so, yeah it's long. And the next chapter is going to be a really good one, I can just feel it. :) If you're reading my story and you like it, please review it, it would mean the world to me!

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><p>Ch6<p>

Sitting in class was like torture. The clock on the wall was going so slowly I thought it must be broken. I couldn't stop thinking about how much my life was going to change. I will be going out with the coolest guy in school, people may not avoid me any more in the hall. Jade will get over it; we just need to break it to her gently…

"Hey Cat!" I jumped and nearly fell off my chair.

"Oh hey Andre. Did you know that clock is broken?"

"Wh… what? It looks fine to me!"

"Yeah well, I know it's broken. I can tell."

"Right… anyway, that's not what I want you to talk about! Tori told me."

I gulped "She what?"

"Oh it's all right, I won't tell anyone!"

"Oh, please don't!"

"Don't worry Little Red, you're secret's safe with me! So did he apologise for scaring you like that the other day?"

"Yes, yes. It's all been worked out. I'm scared of telling Jade though, she might hurt me."

"She would never hurt you. You mean a lot to Jade, even though she'd never admit it."

"If you say so… she's not talking to me right now though I don't think"

Jade was seated at the other side of the room from us. She hadn't spoken to me for the whole lesson. I decided this was a bad thing, I expected her to start asking me about what I was excited about in the toilets. I thought its best not to bring it up though, so I left her alone.

"So, you and Beck, you going to be like, kissing, and hugging and stuff!" Oh I knew Andre would be just as giddy as me about it.

"Hmmhmm, I know! It's not going to be weird though, is it?"

"No, you are going to be really cute together!"

"Aaahh! I'm so happy, haha, I think I'm going to burst!"

"Well, you just keep your voice down" he whispered "you don't want this spreading around any time soon."

I wished the clock would fix itself, but it just seemed to keep going slower. Lunchtime came, and I left the classroom as quickly as my legs would carry me. I dumped my stuff in my locker and headed to the theatre. I checked the coast was clear and ran backstage. Beck wasn't there yet. I started to look around backstage. There was a box full of costumes from the most recent play, "Romeo and Juliet". I decided to have some fun, and try on some of the costumes. I found a really poofy old dress that was bright blue. I slipped off my jeans and shirt and was about to try it on when I heard a voice from behind me.

"I was under the impression we were just going to talk, but really I think your idea is better."

I jumped around and saw Beck gazing at me, leaning against the wall. I shrieked and tried to cover myself up, but I was only in my underwear and I wasn't having much luck.

"Beck! Turn around!"

"Hey don't worry. Here." He handed me his jacket and I slipped it on. It was more like a dress on me, as it came halfway down my thighs.

"Thanks"

"No problem."

He stood right in front of me, looking down at me. He leaned towards me but I put my hands on his shoulders, stopping him.

"Not yet. We need to talk."

"Ok, what is it we need to talk about?"

"Err, y'know, stuff and… things that need… talking about."

"Ok. Stuff such as…"

"I don't know! We need to sort out our… err, feelings and stuff…"

"Ok, I'll start then."

He paused for a second, summoning up some courage. "Cat, I have liked you for a while now, I just never was going to tell you because I wasn't sure how you would react. I thought I might frighten you so that you would never talk to me again, and I didn't want that to happen."

"I would never do that, I love you Beck… I mean, y'know, I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry."

"It's alright Cat, I mean, very sudden. But I'm flattered, honest."

"Oh good. Sorry, carry on with your story."

"Okay. When me and Jade broke up I just thought I'd go for it, and make a move on you. My head was messed up, I wasn't thinking straight. After I left you like that by the side of the road, I thought I really had blown my chance, and I thought you hated me."

"Whoa. Beck, I could never hate you. You've always been nice to me, and always listened to me. Most people don't do that. If it wasn't for you, I would be a lot less popular than I am."

"Not to mention the eighty dollars I had to tip off Sikowitz to drop his supply of coconuts in the hall this morning."

"You got Sikowitz to do that?"

"Yeah. I knew you and Tori were in the toilets. I knew you were telling her, I could hear you both squealing from outside. I saw Jade heading in, and so I ran up to Sikowitz and told him to drop the coconuts. The amount of money I thought was a bit… excessive. Apart from that, he did it quite willingly really. It's surprising; he really does worship his coconuts."

"Yeah, but, you asked him to do that… for me? For eighty whole dollars?"

"Well, yeah but, Cat it wasn't a big deal! I just had to think fast. He specifically asked for 100 dollars, but I only had eighty on me, sorry…"

"Don't be sorry, I don't think anyone has ever spent eighty dollars on me before!"

"Well, I think I was spending it more on Sikowitz, but sure the favour was for you." He smiled at me mischievously, and I grinned back, but it made me feel goofy so I stopped. Then he laughed at me, but in a kind way, so I laughed too. Then he started to lean towards me, but again I stopped him.

He sighed; I could tell he was frustrated. I didn't want him to be angry. "Sorry, really I am sorry. But there's just one more thing!"

"Don't worry, cool it Cat! Ok, what is this thing."

"Andre knows."

"Oh. Did you tell him?"

"Nooo, Tori did. I didn't know she would, I thought she'd keep it a secret!" I laughed nervously "haha… but it's ok right?"

"Yeah, Andre's one of my best friends, I know he won't tell anyone. Now, where were we?" He leaned, and this time I let him.

He kissed me slowly and I felt the familiar tingling spread from my lips down through my whole body. He pushed against me so I backed into the wall. He started to kiss me with more force so I was nearly lifted off the ground. I responded by wrapping my arms around his waist, and clutching onto his back. He rubbed his body against mine quickly, causing me to moan. He responded by doing it again, and I felt something strange in my lower regions which made me squeal suddenly.

He broke away from me. "Are you alright?"

I was out of breath but managed to smile, "Yeah, all good!" He smiled back at me, and pulled me in to hug me. He was warm and smelled like cinnamon and apples, which I really liked.

"So, you still haven't really expressed your feelings to me."

I smiled at him "Do I really need to?"

He moved in again and kissed me, gently and slowly, and I felt like it was meant to be, I felt wanted when I was in his arms, and Beck was the only person in my life I felt completely comfortable acting like myself around, not that it ever stopped me acting like myself in front of everyone anyway.

We broke apart suddenly when a shuffling sound of footsteps came from around the corner. We both looked at each other and started to move towards the noise. As we came around the corner, we saw…

"Robbie! What the hell are you doing?"

"Cat! Beck! What a surprise to see you two here! I was just, on a walk and now, well, I'm leaving!"

"Hold it right there." Beck calmly reached out and grabbed Robbie by the arm, easily stopping him from going anywhere. I couldn't help but smile at how strong he was.

"Please, don't hurt me!"

"What did you see?"

"Nothing! I saw nothing!"

"Oh sure, you were spying on us weren't you?"

"Beck, please, let me go! I'm sorry, I saw Cat rushing off somewhere and I wanted to follow to see where she was going."

"So you heard everything then?"

"No, I was stopped by Sinjin in the hall, he wanted me to look at his new lighting controller for the theatre, and I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me go! I saw that Cat had run in here, and I came in just in time to see you two sucking each other's faces off!"

"Grr, Robbie it's not like that! I want to be with Beck, he wants to be with me! We are together now, we just haven't told everyone yet!"

"Oh sure, look you guys I don't know how long your little game has been going on, but you are going to end up hurting Jade, it needs to stop. Just because you two can't control your urges doesn't make it right!"

I felt so angry! How dare he say that! Before I could stop myself, my hand made contact with his cheek so hard that Beck dropped his arm in surprise and Robbie fell to the floor.

"Oww, Cat!"

"Don't you ever dare say that again! I love Beck, and Jade and him are finished!" I burst out crying before I could stop myself. Robbie grabbed Rex, who he had left around the corner, and ran. Beck pulled me in and hugged me tight. As though it was magic, he made me feel better and he managed to comfort me without saying a word. I looked up at his face, and he smiled down at me and wiped the tears off my cheeks with his thumb.

"Oh Beck, he's going to tell Jade!"

"He's not if he knows what's good for him. Don't worry, I know how to handle Jade, when she does find out, it will all be ok, I promise."

"What should we do now?"

"Go and get some lunch. If we are both missing, people will get suspicious."

I left for the asphalt café, and Beck was going to come in five minutes so we didn't get the together. I grabbed some food and went to sit next to Tori. She was sat on her own at a table, texting on her phone.

"Hey Tori"

"Hi Cat, where've you been?"

"Just with…" my voice changed to a whisper "Beck."

Tori giggled "Oh ok, you two had fun?"

"Yeah" She looked at me worriedly.

"Why d'you sound so glum?"

"I know you told Andre about us."

"Ok, Cat I know I should have kept it to myself, but Andre is our friend, and he won't tell anyone."

"So you only told Andre?"

"I swear."

"Ok!" I suddenly felt uplifted again; I should have known I could trust Tori. I decided to change the subject so she didn't feel awkward. "Did you know that Beck's hair is like, softer than anything I've ever felt before?"

Tori looked surprised but pleased that I changed the topic "well, yeah I know, its awesome hair."

"Yeah, and did you know he smells like apples?"

Apples… really?"

"Yep… AND, he's got really big eyes."

"Ok, Cat, calm down. And you'd better start talking about someone other than Beck, Jade's heading this way."

I gasped and looked behind me. Jade was heading towards the table, and she had a really angry look on her face. I noticed her hair looked pretty today though.

"Hi Jade!" I gulped nervously "You're hair looks pretty today."

"Cut the crap Cat! What's the game, huh? I know you two are up to something, and you don't want me to find out. Come on then, spit it out!"

"Err, Jade, look it's really nothing." I could see Tori couldn't think of anything to say, and neither could I. We were saved, however, by someone coming up behind Jade to talk to her. I couldn't believe it though when I saw who it was.

"Jade?"

"WHAT?" Robbie Shapiro's face never managed to brighten up Jade's day.

"I've got something to talk to you about. In private." I was looking pleadingly at Robbie, but he ignored me.

"This better be good, or the puppet gets it!" Robbie looked too serious to even defend Rex, who also sat their silently in Robbie's arms. He started to walk off towards the doors and Jade stormed off after him.

Tori looked relieved and confused. "God, Robbie looked bummed! I wonder what he wanted to talk about, with Jade of all people!"

I felt fresh warm tears hit my cheeks "I know! Oh God, oh God Oh God!"

"What, Cat, what is it? Sweety what's wrong?"

"He knows! Robbie knows about me and Beck, but he only saw us kissing and just thinks we're like, just doing it behind Jade's back but he doesn't know we're actually together and he's going to tell Jade, and Jade's going to hurt me, and she's going to KILL Beck, and then I'll never get to see his face again because he'll be dead and I'll be alone and hurt forever!"

"Shush Cat! D'you want the whole school to know? Robbie would never tell Jade, he's our friend!"

"But Robbie doesn't want me to be with Beck, he's trying to split us up!"

"Wh… why would he do that?"

"Robbie, well he kinda…" I blushed at the thought of what I was about to say "he told me a few weeks ago that he fancies me. And I turned him down, I told him I liked him, but he was my friend and I didn't want him to be my boyfriend! He wants me, and he is jealous of Beck, I'm sure of it!"

Tori looked really worried "Ok, wow, poor Robbie. But that's not what I'm worried about. We need to think about how you are going to handle Jade. I've got your back, but I think that Jade will probably hate you even more if I take your side, seen as she despises me."

"Beck says he knows how to handle Jade, he'll know what to do."

"Well we are so in luck then. Look behind you."

Beck was heading towards the table with a tray of food. He saw me looking at him and smiled, but quickly turned to face Tori and smiled too. I felt jealous, but then remembered we were trying to be secretive.

"Hey girls." He winked quickly at me, and I giggled.

"Hey Beck! So, so glad you are here!" Tori did really look relieved to see him.

"Why, what's going on?"

"Jade is being told about us right now! And it's Robbie that's telling her, he's going to make her think we're like, just doing it behind her back for the sake of it, and she is going to kill us!"

"Relax! I can explain to her what is really going on, she'll listen. Who knows, she may be totally cool about it!"

"Yeah that's likely!" I saw Beck glare at Tori. "Well, I'm just being truthful! Now, not that I'm not worried for your safety, but I'm going to clear off before Jade comes back here! I'm number one target for Jade to take her anger out on, so I need to get as far away from here as possible!"

Tori ran towards the doors, looking behind her briefly to wave goodbye to us. We just sat there, not knowing what to say next. What felt like years passed before either of us said anything.

"So, no sign of Jade yet."

"Nope." I sighed "Maybe she got so angry she burst into flames, so she died and couldn't come and yell at us!"

"Cat!" Beck looked shocked "That's a horrible thing to say."

"I didn't say I wanted that to happen! I just thought that it's a possibility, that's all."

He shook his head, and then stared into space. I messed around with my food, twirling my fork in it, but I didn't want to eat anything. The minutes dragged on, and we both jumped in shock as the bell went, signalling the end of lunch.

"We'd better go."

"What about Jade?"

"I don't know. If you see her, just run and find me, don't try to explain anything to her, I think it's best if I do the talking."

"Sure. I'll, erm, see you later?"

"Come around to mine after school." He paused, "If you're not busy that is."

"No, I'm free. See you later."

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. There was no sign of Jade or Robbie anywhere, so I assumed they must be skipping classes. Why though, I had no idea. I talked to Tori, and she thought it was strange too, but she was just glad the drama was over for one day.

"Look, Cat, I think this is a good thing. Jade isn't here, so she is probably at home thinking it through, and calming down. She will realise this is a good thing. Anyway, she's over Beck, isn't she?"

"I don't really know. She said she wouldn't get back together with him, so…"

"So she must be over him. If she was angry, she would have come and found you by now.

That did reassure me quite a bit. "Ok. Tori, will you drive me to Beck's after school?"

She looked at me with the concerned look I knew too well, but she agreed. "Yeah, ok sure. But you're not too worried are you? About Jade and all?"

"No, I'm not too worried." I wasn't sure how I felt about it though, to be honest. I felt safe when Beck was near me, and being with Beck was all I wanted every second of the day, so being with him seemed like the best option to me right now.


	7. Well That Money Is A Waste Of Fame

So in this chapter, the story starts to live up to it's rating. It's not too graphic or anything, but it's not for kids. Ok, this one is short but sweet. Please review! :)

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><p>Ch 7<p>

I was sat in Tori's car on the way to Becks house. I was really psyched that I was going to see Beck, but I could tell Tori was not happy.

"Are you ok?" She looked at me and smiled feebly.

"Yeah I'm fine Cat. But… look." She sighed. "We need to talk about something."

"Ok! But like, now?"

"Yeah, now." She pulled up and parked next to the sidewalk. She switched off the engine and turned to face me.

"Cat, you know you are one of my best friends?"

"Of course I do!"

"Yeah, so you know I care about you, yes?"

This really worried me "Oh God, you don't fancy me too, do you!"

She laughed "What? No, Cat, definitely not where I was going."

"Ok, ok, good."

"Look, Cat. I'm really happy that you and Beck are together. I really am. But I need to talk to you about something that you need to know about."

I was confused beyond belief. "Well, ok then. What is it?"

"You are like a little sister to me, so I would hate to see you get hurt." She put her hand on my knee, and I was starting to get worried.

"Have I done something wrong?"

"No, no you haven't done anything wrong. I'm going to cut to the chase. You and Beck, you have got to be, y'know safe and everything."

"Safe… what, like safe from getting hurt?"

"Exactly. Well, kind of. You know, when a boy loves a girl, and they do, kissing and stuff. Well, sometimes, they can do more than kissing and, I just wanted to make sure you were, prepared and everything."

It dawned on me what she was talking about "Ewww, Tori! I don't want to talk about it!"

"I know you don't, but I just wanna know that you know all about, protection and all of that."

"Yes, yes I do I do!" I hate talking about things like this. Besides, me and Beck hadn't talked about sex or anything like that yet, and I know him and Jade will have done a lot more than talk about it, but I hadn't ever done it before, so Beck would be really nice to me about it, I'm sure.

"Ok, I was just checking!" She started up the engine and drove me the rest of the way to Beck's house in silence. I mumbled a thankyou, then I jumped out and ran to Beck's RV and banged on the door.

"Hey, hey Cat, what's the hurry?"

"Tori just drove me here! And she… urghh!" I shuddered again, thinking about the conversation.

"She what?"

"She made me talk about… y'know, stuff like…"

"She was checking you knew about sex right?" I looked at him wincing, and he laughed.

"Cat, come on, it's not that bad. She had the same conversation with me in class today. Look, I know you hate to talk about things like that, but we really need to."

"Ohh, please can we not?"

"We have to! Ok, look, I'll talk, you listen."

I thought about this for a second and realised this was probably best. "Ok then." We both went inside and sat down on the bed, though I made sure I was sitting a good metre away from him. This was going to be awkward enough without us sitting pressed next to each other.

"I know you've never done it before, and I totally respect that. I however, have, but that's not a problem. And we never have to do it until you're ready to, ok?"

I felt a huge weight lift off my chest that I never realised was even there. I looked into his face and he smiled reassuringly at me.

"Thankyou"

"That's ok beautiful." I giggled again, and he grinned at me. I felt suddenly quite daring, and leapt on top of him, causing him to yell in surprise and fall backwards so he was lying on his back on the bed and I was on top of him. I crushed my lips onto his and he responded gladly. He had one hand on the back of my head, and the other at the bottom of my back. He suddenly ground his hips into mine, and I jerked off him in surprise.

"I'm sorry!" He said, sitting up. "I didn't mean to do that it's just… instinct."

"It's… ok" I said. I nervously went and pushed him backwards again onto the bed. "It's not your fault. Just, carry on." I got back on top of him and leaned down again. We kissed slowly and nervously for a minute, but then we started to kiss with more passion. Again, after ten minutes, we were kissing with full blown energy, our tongues dancing together again happily.

A thought struck me all of a sudden. Or was it more of an idea? Anyway, I broke away from the kiss and said in his ear.

"Could you do that thing again?"

"Do what?" he panted.

"Y'know, that thing you did earlier." I looked into his face and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. His hand found the back of my head and he started to kiss me all over again. After a minute I felt his hand on my ass and I shuddered slightly. The first time he raised his hips slightly to mine, and I moaned as he kissed me. I couldn't describe the feeling it gave me if I tried, and I'm pretty sure I liked it.

"Again." I murmured as he was busy wriggling his tongue around with mine. The second time he did it with much more force, and my legs started to shake. I cried out and he took the opportunity to use his mouth in another way.

He started to trail kisses down my neck. I was still slightly shaky, and he found a particularly sensitive part of my neck I moaned again in pleasure. He started to nibble and suck on this place on my neck, and this time I found it was me grinding my hips down onto him. I felt him smile onto my neck but he carried on. After a minute he flipped me over so I was lying on my back and he was leaning over me. He kissed me again, and we carried on making out for what must have been hours, because when we broke apart it had started to go dark outside.

"That was fun." I laughed, and he laughed to. I felt so comfortable around him; I felt I was completely safe around him. Gosh I'm repeating myself. After spending time with him doing things I had never done before, feeling like I had never done before, I realised I was more ready for the next step than I had first thought. I feel giddy and excited, and happier than I have ever felt before.

"I think I'd better drive you home, your parents will be worried."

"Oh… yeah, my parents, yeah!" I had completely forgotten about getting home, they don't have a clue where I am. He grabbed his car keys and we headed out of the door.

The whole car journey I spent touching his hand, and his arm, and running my fingers through his hair. It was like I'd caught some sort of disease, where I had to touch him, and be near to him all the time. I was nearly ready to climb onto his knee by the time we arrived outside my house.

"Ok, so I'll see you tomorrow then?"

I sighed "Yeah, I miss you."

"Already?" He smirked, and leaned across to kiss me. We kissed for longer than we should have done, but now I was going to have to spend the whole night without seeing him. I reluctantly climbed out of the car, and waved sadly at him. He pulled his bottom lip out, making a funny sad face which made me laugh.

"I'll see you tomorrow beautiful."

"Bye"

I turned towards my front door, full of wriggling, squirmy feelings for Beck that made me feel really lovey and gooey. I loved Beck, and now I knew that there was nothing to worry about.


	8. If You Didn't Earn It

Definitely getting graphic in this extra-long, extra-awesome chapter! Not for kids!

P.S Just a note to the person who reviewed my last chapter, shannyn, thankyou very much for your review, it meant the world to me. I'm glad you like my fanfic, it's my first ever! Thankyou for your suggestion, but for now I think I'm going too keep girl relationships purely friendly, as my friend who asked me to right this specifically asked for a "non-gay" story, as much as I support gay-ness, there are an awful lot of stories along those lines for victorious, so I thought a story that involves a straight relationship stands out among the other stories. But I will still keep it in mind though.

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><p>Ch8<p>

Jade was stood at her locker the next day when I came into school. Robbie was also by his locker, and as I walked past he turned to face me.

"Cat! Look, we need to talk!"

"We've got nothing to talk about! You don't have to explain why you told her, I know you don't want me and Beck to be together. Just leave me alone."

"Cat, you're over reacting!"

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Look, you don't know what happened. When I saw you two together, yes I did assume the worst, and I'm sorry. And yes, I did intend to tell Jade, for my own selfish reasons. But I never got round to telling her!"

"Why?"

"As I was rushing off to find somewhere quiet to tell her, Andre saw us and he assumed that I knew and was going off to tell her, so he followed us. He explained it all to Jade, Rex and I before I had a chance to speak. He knows how much you love him, and now Jade knows too, as do I."

"And me! Cat and Beck, sitting in a tree. K-I S-S-I-N-G. First comes luurve…"

"Rex!" Robbie yelled, but I just laughed. It all had turned out alright.

"So Jade's totally cool with it?"

"Well, she was a bit upset." Robbie said this without opening his mouth, but I spun around and realised it was Andre that said it.

"Hey Andre!" I hugged him tightly "Thankyou soo much for this!"

"Well, there is one way you can repay me."

"What?"

"Go and speak to Jade."

"What? Noo, not if she's upset, she may still be annoyed at me. What if she asks me to break up with Beck?"

"Wait, Little Red, you've got it all wrong. Jade's not upset because you're with Beck. She's upset that you'd think she'd be angry. Jade is your friend, and cares about you. She doesn't want to be with Beck anymore, she wants you to be with him. She hates herself now though, because she thinks you're scared of her!"

"Well, I am a little!"

"But go and tell her you're not! She was really upset to think that you and Tori had a secret that you didn't tell her, and when she found out what it was she could believe you weren't going to tell her. Robbie and I spent the whole afternoon at her house trying to comfort her. Just go and speak to her, and explain."

"Ohh, ok." I nervously walked up behind her and cleared my throat. She turned around to face me. Her eye makeup was slightly smudged, like she'd been crying.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey." I didn't know what to say next, but it turns out I didn't have to say anything. She pulled me towards her and hugged me tightly so I could hardly breathe, but I didn't care. I hugged her back, and I heard her sob slightly as she started to speak.

"I wouldn't ever want to hurt you Cat. Believe it or not you're one of my best friends, and I really care about you. I honestly do love you cat…"

Oh great. "Not you as well! What is it with people and fancying me?"

"No you moron, I don't fancy you. I love you like a sister, you've always been sweet and kind even though I treat you like shit half the time."

After she said that I felt like flying. "Aww Jade, that's really nice. And you've never treated me too badly, I mean, I am very strange, and you never make too much fun of me."

"Yeah well, you make me laugh, so…" she pulled away from me and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "But don't tell anyone about this though, ok? I don't need you to throw my reputation down the drain, or I may think twice about not being angry with you."

I gulped "Yeah, sure."

I heard someone come up behind me suddenly.

"Hey Cat! Hey… oh" It was Tori, and she had just realised who I was talking to.

"You explain what's happened to this whack-job, I'm going to get some coffee."

Jade turned and left, leaving me and Tori stood there.

"Ok, Tori, this may seem pretty weird, but…"

"You're telling me! What the hell happened?"

"Well, Jade was all, upset, because Andre told her that I didn't want to tell her about me and Beck. Oh yeah, and Andre told her because her saw Robbie was about to tell her but he butted in. She wasn't angry that I was with Beck, she doesn't love him and she wants me to be with him, she's just upset that I didn't want to tell her about us because secretly she really cares for me. Get it?"

"Ok, yeah I think so." The bell went, and Tori started to turn towards her locker.

"Oh wait, Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for… y'know the conversation in the car. I totally get it now, no worries."

"Ok, that's good. You know I'm here for you whenever you need to talk, yeah?"

"I know that now. Thanks Tori."

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. There was still obvious tension between Beck and Jade, but I was sure over time it would settle down. Everyone now knew, well, all of our friends anyway. We still hadn't shown any public signs of coupleness, for all most people knew was that Beck kissed me in the closet and nearly scared me into having a breakdown. It wasn't going to be easy, but we would find a way.

At lunch, we sat next to each other. Andre, Tori, Robbie, and surprisingly Jade were all sat at the table with us. It was awkward, definitely, but it was a step in the right direction. Beck kept squeezing my knee to check if I was alright, but to be honest I wasn't bothered. Andre and Tori both kept looking at us with gooey expressions on their faces, but I tried to ignore them. Jade kept shifting her eyes towards us, but didn't say a word. Robbie didn't even look up from his food; he was probably still feeling guilty about nearly telling Jade. And so he should be.

The last lesson of the day was with Sikowitz. He was completely oblivious to the complicated situation, but carried on his lesson as normal.

"Now, I've written a small play to be performed straight from the scripts which I will hand out to you. I have already assigned each of your characters, and you are going to get up straight away and perform it with your scripts in front of you."

He handed out the scripts. The play was called "The Loss of Two Lovers". After flicking through it, I realised it was about a couple who had to deal with the ex-wife of the man, how she ended up going crazy and killing them both. Oh, I hoped he hadn't cast who I thought he had as the parts.

"So, Jade, you will play the sour ex-wife called Jocelyn."

"Great." I could see this was the last part in the world she wanted.

"Beck, you will be playing Henry, the man who is in love with the character called Mary, but your ex-wife is trying to put a stop to this."

"Of course." Beck looked like he wanted to curl up and die.

"And Tori," I breathed out an audible sigh, "will be playing the girlfriend, Mary."

"Oh thank God." Tori glanced across to me with a look of pure relief on her face.

"Now, Robbie, you will play Tom, the brother of Mary, who discovers the couple after they're dead."

"Oh, that's a nice part to play."

Sikowitz gave out a few more minor parts, and I was just so glad that it wasn't me having to act out my love for Beck in front of Jade.

"And last, but by no means least, Cat. You will play the crazy best friend of Jocelyn, who listens to Jocelyn and helps her come up with the plan to kill the lovers."

Just let me die now. "Oh please no, Sikowitz, I don't think that's a very good part for me. Can't I be a different part?"

"No my dear little red-haired friend, a true actor can play any part what-so-ever that they are presented with. Just do your best."

And so the play started. I listened to Tori's character having to act out her love for Beck's, and then listen to them kissing passionately as Jade's character watched on through a window, muttering angrily to herself. This was like torture; I couldn't believe this was happening. It was all going so well, but then this could be a major step-back. What if Jade got any ideas from the play, and decided she did still love Beck after all? Oh this was all too much; my head was starting to hurt.

"Cat! Cat! Get on the stage!" I heard Sikowitz calling my name. I had been in a trance for minutes, thinking through the recent events. I rushed out onto the stage.

"Oh, Jocelyn, whatever's the matter?" I said my line half-heartedly, but I didn't really care, I just wanted to get it over with.

"It's that bitch Mary, she is still with my Henry. It isn't right, they aren't meant to be together! They are mocking me with their love! I've had enough of it!"

"It's true, they are too different to be a couple. It's just a shame they can't see that." I felt a flicker of fear enter my eyes, and I'm pretty sure Jade saw it. "They need to be punished!"

"Oh for sure they do, but what? Should we torture them until they agree to split up, so you can have Henry back?"

"NO! I never want Henry back! Not after he's been with that woman!" I felt a pang in my stomach and Jade looked like she was about to be physically sick.

"Then we shall have to come up with a more suitable punishment for the two of them. Maybe… a longer lasting one?"

"Hmm yes, now that's more like it. Finally I can make them feel the hurt that I felt when Henry and I split up. Mary was my friend, and he betrayed me by going off with her. Now my revenge will finally put my mind to rest!"

It was all too much. I felt a rush of blood leave my head and next minute I was on the floor. I had the whole class crowded around me, but I saw Beck pushing past everyone, rushing to get to me.

"Cat! Are you ok Cat?" I sat up, but everything was spinning.

"Yeah I… yeah I just went faint all of a sudden. I'm fine, I'm ok."

Everyone was looking down at me worriedly, but then the bell went signalling the end of class, and there was a rush towards the door.

"We will continue this next lesson!" Sikowitz called after them. It was just me, Beck, Tori and Andre and Sikowitz left in the room. Jade had lingered by the door, but decided against staying and left.

"Are you alright there Cat?" Sikowitz was obviously concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine it's just… I didn't have much to eat at lunch so I'm a bit faint. I'll be ok in a minute."

"Well, if you're sure. I've got to go to a staff meeting, dreadfully dull but I've got my coconut, that'll keep me occupied". And so he left.

"I was so scared, don't do that again." Beck looked down at me, and I smiled.

"I thought nothing scared you?"

"Congratulations, you managed to officially scare me." We both leaned towards each other until our lips met and started making out right there on the stage floor.

After a few seconds we heard Andre and Tori both simultaneously saying "Aww!" Whilst looking down at us. We broke apart, and turned towards them.

"Guys…"

"Yeah ok, ok. We're leaving."

They both scurried out of the door, leaving us alone.

"Where were we?"

"Err, on the stage, kissing. For real."

"Oh yeah."

We carried on making out, whilst increasingly I felt the familiar tingly feeling returning again down somewhere below my belly. It was when I started moaning slightly that Beck broke away from me.

"Maybe we should go now."

"Yeah that sounds good."

"My place?"

"Oh yes please."

We both ran as fast as we could out of the building, and jumped into his car. As he sped down the road I rang my Mum and as calmly as I could told her I was "going to a friend's house to study." I wasn't lying though; it was kind of like studying.

He pulled up outside his house and physically lifted me out of the car. We went inside his RV and locked his door behind us. We turned to each other.

"So…"

"So, where were we?"

He led me over to the bed and lay me down on it. He come up over me and started nibbling and sucking on my neck again. I arched my back up to him and he took the hint. He rubbed his hips against mine and I felt a lump in his jeans that wasn't there before. I didn't really know what to do, so I ignored it. After a few minutes, the lump had grown and Beck was making noises even louder than my own.

I pulled away from him. "Beck?"

His breathing was heavy and he was sweating "Yeah?"

"Are you… ok?"

"Wh… oh yeah that. Don't worry, it'll go away when we stop."

"Can… can we do something extra tonight though?"

He looked at me with a shocked expression "Oh no I don't mean have the whole… no just… can I, take, y'know, my jacket off, 'cause it's hot in here.

"Yeah sure." I pulled my jacket off.

"And you look pretty warm too."

He took the hint "Yeah, yeah I think I am getting pretty hot." He smirked at me, and pulled his top off. Wow. Just wow.

I just realised I was staring. "Sorry", I said, looking away.

"Nah, it's cool." He then leaned back over me and we continued on. His mouth was exploring all over my neck, right down to where my shirt started. I felt his hand slowly creep up under my shirt up my side. I didn't really know what to do, but I certainly wasn't going to stop him.

"Take… it… off…" I stammered between breaths. He didn't hesitate in pulling my shirt over my head. Instead of carrying on kissing me, he leaned back a bit to look at me all over. I felt my face going hot as his eyes travelled all over me.

"Well?" I asked, not sure of what to expect.

"You are beautiful." I felt my face go even redder, and I grinned.

"Thanks!"

"Cat?"

"Yeah?"

He looked into my eyes with all seriousness and said "I love you."

I looked up at him with tears of happiness in my eyes. That was what I'd been waiting for, that was just what I needed. "I love you too."

And then he kissed me with a force which made my stomach jump inside me. He was fully going for it now. His hand went travelling up my stomach until it reached…

"Aaahh!" I moaned all of a sudden.

"Ok still?"

"C…carry on." His hand was on my boob and it felt, like wow. However, I felt his hand slip sideways and around my back, fiddling with the clasp on my bra.

"Just tell me when to stop, ok?"

"Just don't stop yet."

"I wasn't planning on it."

He undid the clasp on my bra and then leaned off me. He sat me up slowly and just looked at me. I slid my bra slowly off my shoulders, until it hit the floor. I had my eyes closed, not sure what Beck was thinking.

"Cat, you really are beautiful."

I opened one eye and he wasn't staring where I was expecting him to. He was looking straight at my face.

"Thankyou." Dare I say what just came into my head? "Now it's your turn."

It was his turn to feel nervous. "I… I don't want to take all my clothes off tonight."

I was really confused. "Why?"

He sighed. "I don't want to rush things. I want things to be… special."

I nodded, "Ok, but maybe tomorrow."

"You bet. For now, just relax."

He pushed me gently down onto the bead and ran his hands up my belly when they reached my boobs, he slowly circled his fingers around them which made me shiver. He looked surprised when I started giggling.

"What?" He asked, amused.

"I'm ticklish." I simply said, to which he laughed loudly. He continued to circle around them a few times until he grabbed one gently with his hand. I moaned slightly, which encouraged him to massage with his hand, and then he took the other one and did the same. He then used his fingers and circled my nipples, which started me off moaning louder.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Please don't, Beck."

Instead he took his hands away and leaned back down over me, our bare chests pressing against each other. His mouth travelled once more down my neck with small kisses, but this time he carried on further down. As he reached my boobs he slowly circled his tongue around my nipples, which caused me to involuntarily jerk my hips upwards. He then started to gently lick over my nipples, which made me start to shake again. I felt very warm down in my panties, and I was sure that Becks zipper must have been about to burst open.

"Please Beck, more, please." I could barely speak.

"Sod it!" He said, and yanked his pants off quickly. I looked at the bulge in his boxers. It was absolutely huge.

"Oh my God." I said. He laughed, but quickly calmed down.

"Cat, I'm not having sex with you tonight."

What was that feeling? Disappointment? No, probably relief.

"Then, what are we doing?"

"You are doing nothing. Just lie down."

I did as I was told. He moved his hands down my waist to my hips. He then went to the zipper on my jeans and slowly undid it.

"Wh… what are you doing?"

"Do you want me to stop? Because I will Cat, I swear if you want me to I'll stop."

I thought about it for a second. "No, please don't stop."

His hands went to the top of my jeans, and slowly started to pull them down. They slid off my legs and he cast them aside onto the floor. He then went to take off the only thing which stood in between me being completely naked, lying on Beck's bed.

"Are you sure?" He looked more nervous than I felt.

"Positive."

He swept off my panties in one fluid motion. I saw his eyes widen and I then shut my eyes. This time I didn't ask for his opinion, but what happened next caused me to open my eyes rapidly.

I looked down and he was slowly running his hands up my legs edging closer to my private area. As his hands got dangerously close I couldn't help but squirm slightly. He reassured me by smiling up at me. I didn't know what to do, but I tried my hardest to relax.

His fingertips finally brushed the upper-most part of my inner thigh. I squeaked out loud, but that didn't stop him. He brushed against my clit with the tops of his fingers which made me feel like hot sparks were shooting through my body. I cried out, and he kissed me on the knee to reassure me.

He then did it again, and the same happened. I bit down on my lip to try to control my noises but it didn't work very well. He waited a few seconds for me to nod to say I was ok, and he used his thumb to rub gently over my clit in little circles. I clutched onto his bedding with both my hands, panting like I'd just run a marathon. He then slid his finger up and down, and I started to shake again, and I couldn't stop.

He then kept going, pressing a little harder. I felt beads of sweat form on my forehead and I felt lightheaded. He went faster, and my groans got louder. He then did something unexpected. He lowered his head to where his hand had been a second before and started using his tongue, circling my clit as he had done before.

"Oh, Beck, AHH!" Hearing his name must have encouraged him, as he stuck his tongue right inside me. I felt a stab of pain which was quickly covered up with pure pleasure as he licked right up and down my pussy, swirling around and going faster and faster.

The sensations I was feeling were starting to scare me. I had lost complete control of my body, and a final push with his tongue sent me over the edge.

"Beck, MMM, AAAHHH!" I screamed as I started lurching everywhere whilst lying there on his bed. It felt like nothing I'd ever felt before, and it was the best feeling in the world. He leaned back out of the way, and when I had finally stopped orgasming he spoke to me.

"Feel better now?"

I couldn't speak. I couldn't even open my eyes. I just lay there enjoying the sensation that was still feebly running through my body. I summoned up the energy to nod slightly, and he laughed again.

He pulled on his pants and shirt while I still lay there. He then lifted me up into a sitting position and started to dress me. He put my underwear on then slid my top over my head. He then lay me back down and pulled my jeans back on.

"Thanks." I said feebly, looking at him and smiling.

"No problem beautiful." He looked at me up and down then smiled cheekily at me.

"What?" I said sitting up.

"I've seen you naked!" He said, smirking. I shoved him, and then laughed. Huh, boys.


	9. You Don't Deserve It

Wow, dramatic chapter alert! This one took a while to think of, so I hope you think it's a good one! :)

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><p>Ch9<p>

The next day at school was eventful. I got in late because I'd stayed up quite late with Beck the night before. I still felt so giddy after the night before I was floating on a cloud. Even more than usual.

"Morning Tori!" I skipped up to her as soon as I got in.

"Hi Cat. Where've you been, it's nearly 11!"

"Oh, asleep. I was tired but now I'm ok!"

"I can… see that. Have fun last night?"

"Last night? Oh, yeah… haha!"

"Cat?"

"What? Hmm… haha, Tori you look pretty this morning!"

"C'mon Cat, snap out of it. Tell me what happened!"

"Oh, we just had fun. Nothing else!"

"Fun?"

"Huh, ok but, sshhh! Don't tell anyone, ok?"

"Ok I'll sshhh! What happened with Beck?"

"We were just, making out and stuff. And then, well, I just took some clothes off and, he went quite a few places with his mouth, heee it was awesome!"

"Oh, ok, sounds like fun. Not sure I wanted to know that on second thoughts but, ooh ok…"

"Did you know he can do really cool flicky things with his tongue? Like this!" I showed her by sticking my tongue out and wriggling around just like Beck did.

"Ahh! Too much information Cat, Don't want to know any more!"

"Oh, ok then. Where's Beck?"

"He's… over by his locker, look!"

I ran over to him, flying my arms around him as soon as I reached him.

"Whoa! Hey, Cat. Still on a high are we?"

"Hmmhmm, yep! Can I come round again tonight?

"Yeah sure, just… oh."

"Oh?"

"I've got to go out for a meal with my parents. We do it every week."

"Oh. Yeah, sure, that's fine." I was really disappointed, and I think he noticed.

"Well, you could come too, if you like? They won't mind, they wouldn't ever let Jade come but… yeah, I'm sure they won't mind you coming at all."

"Oh wow, yay how exciting!"

"So… come back with me after school?"

"Ok, but we can stop off at my house to pick up a change of clothes?"

"Yeah, ok cool."

I saw Jade standing there on her own, looking over at us. I caught her eye and waved, but she quickly turned away.

"Why do you think Jade is ignoring me?"

"She's not ignoring you. She's trying to pretend she wasn't watching us. Do you think… do you think I should go and talk to her?"

"Maybe. Definitely. Go and speak to her. See if you can be her friend again."

"Ok, yeah sure." He gulped and started moving towards her. I stayed by his locker, watching. He tapped her on the shoulder and she spun around to face him. I saw her eyes widen, like a deer caught in the headlights. I couldn't make out what Beck said next but he was obviously explaining something to her, but her face stayed blank. She nodded a few times, and then said something quietly. She then turned away from him and walked away. I rushed up to Beck.

"What did you say? What did she say?"

"Well, I said that I noticed she was uncomfortable with our… relationship, and that I understand that. I said that I want us all to be friends, and that you only want to see her back to her normal self."

"Then, what did she say?"

"She said that she isn't uncomfortable with the situation, and that I was an idiot. Then she said she was hungry and bored of my voice. And she left."

"Grr, typical." She frustrated me, if she wants me and Beck to be together, why was she acting like this? I knew that this would take some time for her to adjust to, I just wanted to be sure that was why she was acting strangely.

"Anyway, my beautiful Cat," and I giggled, "we have got something very important to plan."

"Ooh, what is it?"

"We are officially going to become boyfriend and girlfriend very soon."

I squeaked very loudly, causing a few heads to turn in our direction. "Yay! So we are going to tell everyone?"

"Well… sort of. I have an idea."

"Eeek, tell me!"

"Ok, ok! I think we should more… show people. Y'know; make it more fun."

"Ooh ok, like, kiss in front of people?"

"No; I've got a plan."

"The plan is…?"

"You'll see."

The bell rang for first lesson. I looked around quickly to check no-one was looking, and then quickly kissed Beck on the lips. I ran off to my music class, and he had gym. I couldn't wait to see him again, and find out what his plan was. One thing for sure; he was up to something.

At lunch I sat with Tori, Andre, Robbie and Jade, but I couldn't see Beck anywhere. Tori and Jade were occupied with their latest argument.

"It is not ok to hit someone around the head with a baseball bat!"

"It was an affectionate gesture."

"What so you think this, you see this lump here," she pointed to a lump on her head the size of an egg, "is a reminder of an affectionate gesture? You are screwed in the head!"

"I may be screwed in the head, but at least my head doesn't look like yours!"

"Screw you!"

"I hate you!"

"Oh how original!"

"You guys!" I interrupted them.

"WHAT?" They both yelled at the same time.

"Ahh, don't hurt me!" They rolled their eyes at me. "Have you seen Beck?" They both looked at me for a second.

"Nope, sorry Cat, haven't seen him all lunchtime."

"Oh."

"Don't worry Little Red," Andre smiled at me, "I'm sure he's just doing some extra schoolwork or something."

"Doesn't really seem like him though, does it?" Robbie butted in.

"Or maybe he's avoiding you."

"JADE!" everyone yelled at once.

"What, he could be. Or abducted by aliens."

"You're so mean!" I stormed off, leaving my food on the table barely touched. I'd had enough of Jade's attitude. Why did she have to be so mean, all of the time?

I ran around the whole school searching for Beck. There was no sign of him anywhere. I started to get upset, and was just wandering down a corridor with tears in my eyes when I heard voices coming out of a classroom.

"Ok then, so it's a date. Tomorrow after school?" It was a girl's voice.

"That sounds great. I can't wait." But that voice is all too recognisable.

"Oh Beck, it's going to be amazing!" Oh please no!

"She certainly won't see this coming!" Oh God! I ran as fast as I could down the corridor, out of the school, as far away from Beck as possible. I heard him with another girl, and they were going out doing something together after school the next day! I wanted to die, I wanted to stop breathing. I tried for a minute but I couldn't help it. I had to breathe, but I didn't want to. Beck loved someone else and not me! It was all my fault, I was such a freak, no-one could ever love me, not really. I ran into the park, and found a tree which I could sit under out of sight. I curled up under it and closed my eyes. I wanted to shut out the world, shut out myself.

I opened my eyes again. I must have fallen asleep, it had gone dark. I looked at my watch, and gasped when I saw it was just past midnight. I looked at my phone. I'd completely run out of battery. I got up and walked into the open. The park was deserted apart from a group of about ten teenage boys hanging out on the park bench. I avoided them, but as I walked past them they shouted rude things at me so I started to run. I ran out of the park onto the sidewalk. The streetlamps barely lit up the place enough for me to see, and I didn't really know the way back home very well. I started walking in the general direction of my home, hoping to get onto a street I recognized.

I heard a vehicle coming up the street from behind me. It slowed down when it drew level with me. I turned to the side and saw Beck staring at me from inside his car with a look of relief on his face.

"Where the HELL have you been?"

"Away from you!" I yelled.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you with that girl! In the classroom, you were talking to her about going somewhere with her after school tomorrow!"

"Cat! Urgh you can be so stupid!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I wasn't going anywhere with her! That was Trisha, she was helping me plan something."

"What?"

He turned the engine off and jumped out.

"It was meant to be a surprise. I... I've written a song for you."

"A song, for me?"

"Yeah, but I needed to perform it properly. Trisha agreed to help me, she has hired the black box theatre all week for her play, but she was going to let me use it tomorrow after school so that I could sing my song to you."

"Oh. So you weren't cheating on me?"

"No, why would I ever cheat on you? I love you."

"I love you too! Oh, I'm an idiot!"

"Yeah, but you're the most beautiful idiot that I've ever seen!"

"And you've been driving around all night looking for me?"

"Yeah! So has Jade, Tori, Andre, your parents, the cops!"

"Oh shit."

"Yeah too right! I'll ring everyone now, tell them I've found you." I felt tears hit my cheeks when I realised how stupid I've been. I must seem like a lunatic, Beck's having to tell me off like I'm a kid. Everyone's going to be angry with me for scaring them like this. Beck noticed me crying. He hugged me close to him with one arm as he held the phone to his ear with his other hand.

"Hey, hey come on now... yeah hi Mrs. Valentine. I've found her, I'm bringing her home... Yeah, I'll ring the others now, could you ring the cops and tell them to stop searching?... Yeah ok, yeah that's ok... Bye."

"I am so stupid."

"No you are not."

"I am."

He dialled another number on his phone. "Hey Tori, I've got her... By the park... yeah I know... no she's fine, just tired I think... I'm taking her home now, could you ring Andre and Jade?... Ok cool... see you tomorrow... bye."

"Oh, Tori's going to hate me!"

"Why would she hate you?"

"Because I ran away and no-one knew where I was."

"We were all so scared Cat! you didn't turn up at my house, or with your parents! We rang the cops, and someone had seen a girl with red hair earlier on in the day running down the street, crying, and they'd reported it to the police! We thought you were hurt, we thought... we thought..."

It was Beck's turn to get emotional now. I hugged him as tightly as I could, rubbing his back.

"I love you Cat. I couldn't say it enough to express how much I love you. You mean more to me than I could ever mean to you..."

"That is so not true! I love you more than red velvet cupcakes, and I love them a lot!" He laughed at me, and I dried the tears from his face with my sleeve.

"Let's take you home." He kissed me on the top of the head, then led me to his car. I got in, and he drove me all the way home with a slight smile on his face. He looked worn out, with bags under his eyes. I couldn't believe what I'd done. I know now he loves me more than I thought he did, and it made me so happy. At least something good came of today. I kissed him goodnight, and ran to my house. My parents and brother were both waiting outside the house for me, and they hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. As I lay in bed that night, I thought about how much trouble I had caused, and I resolved that I definitely needed to think more before I acted.


	10. True Love Doesn't Cost a Thing

I'm sorry this chapter's really short! But it's a good one, and leads into a fantastic chapter for next time. ;)

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><p>Ch10<p>

I dreaded going through the school doors the next morning. As I walked up to them I didn't even want to think about what was waiting for me. The disappointment, the questions… I'd have to tell them what was going through my head when I ran off. I don't know what I was thinking; heck I never know what I'm thinking half the time!

I went straight to my locker and dumped my books in there. I heard footsteps approaching me and braced myself.

"Cat! You absolute idiot!" I felt arms reach around me, hugging me tight from behind.

"Mmm, Tori get off!" I mumbled.

"Sorry. Don't ever do that again! I was in tears driving around looking for you, I thought you'd been kidnapped!"

"I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking, I just was upset and, I'm sorry!"

She hugged me again and I hugged her back. I saw Robbie approaching as I looked over her shoulder and I smiled at him.

"Robbie!..."

"Oh my God, Cat! You nearly gave me a heart attack, how could you do that! I was so upset, I kept ringing everyone up every five minutes to see if they'd found you yet!"

He went to hug me but thought twice about it and stopped. I smiled at him, trying to say that it was ok. He must have been scared in case I thought he still fancied me, but I could tell he still did.

"Cat! Cat!" I saw Andre running towards us, and my heart sunk. Grr, I didn't want to have to say sorry all over again.

"Li'l Red! My God girl, I've never been so scared in my life!" He hugged me tightly, and I just burst out crying. He let go of me quickly.

"Cat! What's up, did I hurt you?"

"No I just… I want Beck! Where is he?"

Another voice piped up. "He's just over there. Do us all a favour and stop explaining yourself. Go and talk to him." I turned around and Jade was standing there, holding a bagel and a cup of coffee. I couldn't tell whether she was being mean or not. I stood there and looked at her for a few seconds before she smiled as best as she could and pushed me towards Beck. I turned from her and the others and went up to Beck.

"Hey Beck."

"Hey gorgeous. Are you feeling tired?"

"A little."

"Aww. Come here." He held out his arms and I came right up next to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me there, rocking me backwards and forwards gently. I laughed, playfully saying "weeee!" as he rocked me.

"Better?"

"Yes, a lot better thanks."

"My sweetest Cat, are you free after school today?" He said in a fake posh accent.

"Why yes I am indeed Beck, why what did you have in mind?" I said, copying his accent.

"Would you care to accompany me to the Black Box theatre, for a certain surprise I have in store for you?"

"Why that sounds delightful! Heehee!" He grabbed me and kissed me firmly on the top of the head. I saw people turn their heads and whisper to each other when they saw, but I didn't mind. In fact, to make sure I gave them something to talk about, I kissed Beck forcefully, and making sure tongues were used. I smiled as he continued to kiss me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me off my feet.

"I shall see you later. I've got to go meet up with Sikowitz before class to talk about my homework." He waved at me as he walked away. I waved back. And blew him a kiss, to make sure he went away happy. Then I spun around for a while to let out some of my inner happy. Then I went back over to my friends.

"Guys, did you know spinning around makes you hallucinate?"

"No, no I didn't." Tori answered. "I know it makes you dizzy but…"

"No, I actually saw things for a moment there that weren't even real!"

"Like what?"

"Like, I saw a man over in the corner dressed like a woman. And… oh a guy in a dinosaur outfit by the doors!"

"Cat, you weren't hallucinating."

"I wasn't?"

"No." Tori sighed. "They're dressed like that for a play. It's being directed by Trina."

Everyone winced.

"Remind me never to go and see that play." Jade's remark was not criticized as everyone agreed it would be best if they stayed away from anything that was to do with Trina.

"So, who wants to come with me to get a smoothie after school?"

I shook my head. "Sorry Robbie, I can't. I've got to go to the Black Box theatre."

Everyone looked at me. "Why?"

"Because, Beck's doing something extra special for me there, and he says that loads of people are going to come and watch."

"Yeah I know, he asked me to go." Tori said.

"Well, why don't you all come?" I suggested.

"Heck yeah, why not." Andre answered.

"Meh, sure." Jade didn't look all too happy.

"Err, ok then." Robbie looked as if he'd rather see anything else but Beck proclaiming his love to me.

"Kk. We'd better go now." I said, hearing the bell go.

I really enjoyed that particular day at school. Word had already started to spread about Beck and I being a "couple". It made me happy to see people smiling at me. Some people even came up to me and said congratulations. It is a well-known fact that Beck's the best looking guy in the school, and he was number 1 on most girls dream boyfriends list.

There were also a few nasty rumours going around as well. Mostly to do with Jade, how she's meant to have "threatened" me to try and get Beck back. Some people were even heard saying how Beck was "using" me to make Jade jealous. The rumours really upset me, but Beck told me to just ignore them. I looked at his pretty face instead and it made me feel all better.

The end of the day drew really close, and as I heard the bell go I rushed out of class and ran straight to the doors of the theatre. I was told to wait outside by this guy who was stood there. I did as I was told. Other people were going in, and taking seats.

I heard a song start up and the guy gestured for me to go in. I looked straight to the stage, and Beck was stood there with a microphone smiling at me. I was shocked to see Andre sitting at the piano, and he winked at me. Jade and Tori were sat on the piano, also with microphones. Tori waved at me, and Jade gave a very small smile that was barely visible, but still there.

"A lot of you guys have noticed I've been hanging around a lot with Cat recently." People nodded and murmured. "Great. So this is my way of publically announcing that we are now going out. I hope you enjoy the song. Cat? Wanna come and join me on stage?"

I wandered up the stage steps and went and stood right next to Beck. Andre carried on playing the intro the whole time Beck had been talking, but I saw Becks mouth open to sing and I got butterflies in my tummy.

I just stood and listened to him sing. He had the most beautiful voice in the world, like an angel… but a man angel. I pondered over the existence of male angels, whilst listening to his lyrics. He was singing about how much he loved me and how I make him laugh, and I was crazy and he loved how crazy I was and that he wanted to spend all of his time with me. Ahh. I felt love swirl around inside me. Jade and Tori were singing background lyrics. I realised they all must have been lying about not knowing that Beck was going to sing to me, it all looked so rehearsed. So they were all in on it after all.

At the end of the song, the audience stood up and applauded. Beck picked me up and kissed me. I felt all fiery and confident, so I kissed him back with such a passion I nearly knocked him over. A few boys wolf whistled in the crowd, and everyone laughed. When we broke apart, Beck announced to everyone:

"Thanks for coming guys! Seriously, meant a lot!" People started crowding out of the theatre. I looked Back at Beck, and then around at Jade, Tori and Andre. They all looked so pleased, even Jade had a smile on her face. I suddenly realised someone was missing.

"Wait, where's Robbie and Rex?"

"Oh, Robbie… couldn't make it. He said sorry, but he had a family emergency."

"Oh, oh dear." I hoped his family were ok, but didn't think about it too much.

"Now my dear Cat, we are leaving." Beck picked me up and carried me out of the theatre. I squealed. I loved being carried.

"So, where shall we go?"

"Your place?"

"Sounds like a plan."

He put me down and we headed out of school, holding hands. I loved the way his hand felt in mine, all big and comfy to hold. As I sat in his car on the way over to his, I felt a funny feeling in my stomach, like nerves. I hoped the feeling would go away, but it just kept growing.

We reached his house and both went into the RV together. He locked the door behind us.

"So what shall we do now?" He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well we could talk. Or… perhaps something a little more, exciting?"

I ran up to him and pounced, pushing him down onto his bed. He kissed me with a full force, making me feel dizzy already.

But I could tell we were just getting started.


	11. If You Try To Buy It

Do NOT read on if you are of a sensitive nature. It's rated M for a reason! Don't judge me badly on this chapter, I would tell you I hated writing it but... no really I enjoyed it a lot. Oh and please review it with you honest opinion, if you think it sucks please tell me! (but also tell me how to become better as well!) :)

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><p>Ch11<p>

Lying on top of Beck, kissing him, I realised that tonight would be the night. THE night. Oh wow, butterflies in my tummy again.

"Mmmm Cat." Beck moaned as we continued making out, something we'd been doing for over five minutes.

"Yeah?" I gasped, reaching up for air.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He reached for my head and pulled it back down to his lips. He then moved his lips down my neck and started nibbling again. Oh here we go, I thought. I felt small sensations happening down there again, small sparks of anticipation.

"Uhh, more."

He started tugging at my top, which I slid up and over my head. I leaned off him and pulled his shirt up, and he sat up and pulled it over his head. He grabbed me by the waist and lay me down on the bed. He ran his fingers gently up my stomach and drew circles.

"Haha, Beck stop!"

"What?"

"It tickles."

He playfully leant down and licked my tummy, making me squeal. He then started again on my neck, licking and sucking. I drew breath quickly, and felt my hips start to jerk again. He saw this and ran his hands around behind my back. He found the grasp on my bra and undid it with ease. I let my arms up so he could slide it off.

His mouth felt like heaven. He rotated from playing with my neck, to licking all over my chest. The more I moaned, the better it got. He massaged one boob with his hand and used his mouth on the other. I tried my best not to squirm, but I couldn't help it, my hips were completely out of control, as they kept rising I felt the bulge in his pants getting bigger.

After a few more minutes, I was getting restless. My panties were drenched, and my jeans were sticking to my legs. I tugged at his jeans.

"Mmm… off…." I mumbled. He rolled off me for a second to tug his jeans off. He then slid off the bed and stood over me. He undid the zipper on my jeans and slid them down my legs.

His eyes sparkled as he leant over me once more. He led a trail of kisses down my neck, past my chest and down my stomach. He used his thumbs and hooked them in my panties. I lifted my hips up to give him access to slide them down slowly. He did so, and boy did he tease me! He pulled them down partway, and then stopped to look up at me. I was past talking at this point, but silently I begged him to hurry up. I was already worn out and nothing much had happened yet.

He finally pulled them off and they went flying across the room. He stood over me and looked down at me. I looked at him expectantly. He slid off his boxers slowly to reveal…

"Holy…!"

"What?"

"That… it's all…"

"What?"

"Huge!" I squeaked out the last word. He laughed.

He pulled me by the waist so I was lying with my legs dangling off the edge of the bed. He knelt down and put my legs over his shoulders.

"Just relax."

I nodded, and he smiled at me. His fingers went and brushed my knees, just as it started last time. He trailed his hands slowly up my inner thighs. I started to whimper, but he carried on. Then his hands reached right up the top of my thighs. I was practically panting by now. He slowly brushed my clit with his thumb, and then drew it in little circles.

"Aaahh!" I cried out.

"Shh, just relax." He repeated.

He did it again, but with a bit more force. My head flew back and I was digging my nails into his bedding. I hoped I wasn't going to rip it.

He then used more speed, rubbing in circles. I was seeing stars, the world had gone blurry. He then took me by surprise and stuck a finger into my pussy gently. I hissed in pain as I had the first time he had done it, but the pain didn't last long. He then lent down more and started using his tongue again. He licked up and down, twiddling his tongue now and again. My hips jerked up to his face involuntarily every time, but he held me down gently with his hands.

I felt I was getting closer and closer to orgasm, I'd never felt so good in my life. My whole lower region was throbbing; I felt my muscles getting ready to tighten. All of a sudden, he stopped and leant back.

"Keep… going…!" I yelled.

"Don't worry beautiful." He stood up and went to his drawers by his bed. Just a time to go rooting through drawers, I thought. Then he pulled out…

"Oh!"

"Yeah."

He ripped open the packet and drew out a condom. He went to put it on.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Can… can I put it on you?"

"Err, yeah sure." He said. I stood up but nearly collapsed, as my legs were wobbly. He held me up and helped me kneel down next to him. I looked at what I was facing, and felt my eyes widen in shock. I shook my head, telling myself to focus. I placed the condom at the top of his… well, y'know… and slowly rolled it down.

"Is that right?"

"Yeah."

I got back on the bed, and lay down. I was shaking, partly because I had just come so close to orgasm, but mostly because of nerves. He leant over the top of me, ready.

"Are you ok?"

"Ummhmm." I nodded, and whimpered.

"It will hurt, but not for long."

I nodded again, and winced as I braced myself. I felt his tip brush my folds and I flinched.

"Shh, relax." He again repeated.

He slowly pushed it in. I felt a searing pain between my legs.

"Ahh!"

"I'm sorry, I really am! Do you want me to take it out?"

"No! Don't… move."

The pain lingered for a minute. I lay there, waiting for the pain to stop. It did, and I started to breathe steadily again.

"Shall I continue?"

"Yeah, but slowly."

He slowly withdrew it and pushed it back in. I clutched onto his back, but this time it didn't hurt so much. He started moving slowly in and out. After a while the pain was barely noticeable.

"Ahh! Beck!"

"You want me to stop?"

"No! Faster!"

He started pumping in and out of me at a faster rate. I started to move my hips to the rhythm, and I felt shaky and my vision went blurry again.

"Mmmm!"

He kissed me with a force and I kissed him back. He was going at quite a rate now, and his breathing became shallow.

"Won't go… much longer… Cat!"

"Ahhh… YES BECK OHH!"

I felt a wave of heat hit me and my muscles clenched around him as I came. My hips were all over the place as I lay there, gasping as waves of pleasure swarmed around my body. At the same time Beck came.

"Ohh, ahh, yeah Cat, mmm!"

We both clutched onto each other, our bodies rubbing against each other as we enjoyed the sensations. Our lips clashed together as we came, and our arms wrapped around each other as we both cried out. My legs went weak as the sensations faded and our cries became quieter.

He collapsed on top of me, shaking. We both were gasping for breath, and sweating. I finally, after a few minutes managed to speak.

"That… was fun."

"Yeah, fun."

"thank-you." I said feebly, and looked into his eyes.

"Thank-you too!"

"No, thank-you for being gentle. It was really nice of you, and I really enjoyed that."

"Well I'm glad. I had quite a good time too."

"How about tomorrow?"

He laughed at me, and kissed me again. This kiss was slow, and meaningful. His hand went to the back of my head and the other to my back. His lips slowly moved against mine, and I shivered again.

"Are you cold?"

"A little."

"Here." He stood up and grabbed his jacket. I sat up and he wrapped it around me.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"No problem beautiful." I sat and watched him as he got dressed, then he placed my clothes in a pile next to me.

"Urgh." I said, in a moany voice.

"Fine you!" He said jokingly, as he lay me down and took his jacket off me. He slid my panties back on me, and then slid my bra on and attached it at the back for me. He sat me up and pulled my top on for me, and then lastly he slid my jeans on for me.

"Better?"

"Yes, a lot better thank-you." He chuckled at me, and I winked at him.

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"Oh yes please, but not just yet."

I gestured for him to come and lay down. He did, and I lay down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and drew me right next to him. I snuggled into his chest and closed my eyes. I felt complete, and definitely satisfied. I didn't regret doing it, Beck was the only person in my life I'd trust to do it with. I thought about him for a bit, which was all I ever seemed to do since I became his girlfriend all of a few days before. A thought suddenly hit me.

"Oh my God!"

"What?"

"I just had sex!"

He laughed.


	12. You Can't Return It

Hey guys! Sooo sooo sorry I haven't uploaded a new chapter for days, I've been really busy! But here's one, and it's quite good I think! Oh and on Sunday, I'm moving house and I won't have internet for a week! :( But I'll try and upload at least one more chapter before then, possibly two. Anyway, enjoy this one!

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><p>Ch12<p>

School the next day was incredibly awesome. I still felt giddy from the night before, though quite sore as well. I met Beck outside the main doors.

"Hey beautiful!"

"heey Beck!" I stood on my tiptoes and pouted, signalling him to kiss me. Instead he brushed my lips with his fingers and laughed, then walked into school.

"Hey Beck come back!" I laughed and hurried after him. I caught him and jumped on his back.

"Ahh Cat! Come here then!" He shook me off and grabbed me by the waist. He easily lifted me up to his height and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed against him. By this time a small crowd was gathered near us, thinking I hadn't noticed they were watching. But I had.

Beck broke the kiss. He moved his lips to my ear and whispered "Last night was really fun."

"Yeah, I loved it. Heehee! Can we do it again?"

"How about tonight?"

"Mmm, maybe tomorrow. I'm still a little… sore."

"You take as long as you want." He smiled and moved his head to face me, and placed me down. "I love you."

"I love you too!"

We both turned to see all our friends heading towards us. Beck pulled me in from behind and held me close to him.

"Hey guys! How's life?"

"Good! I had pancakes for breakfast!" I said cheerfully.

"Well, they obviously were good pancakes Li'l Red, you look so happy you're glowing."

I felt my face flush slightly. I hoped they wouldn't all find out the real reason I was so happy. I was going to tell Tori straight away, but not Jade or the boys. It might be a little weird. I felt Beck squeeze me reassuringly.

"Yeah they were… really yummy!" I smiled and jumped on the spot.

"Well, we all better get going to class. Don't want to be late." Robbie looked around at us all.

"Man, you are such a kill-joy! Why am I still even letting you hang around with me? I'd be surprised if I had any cool friends left in this school after people have been seeing me hang around with you so much!" Rex replied to Robbie.

"Excuse me Rex, I'll have you know I also have plenty of friends at this school. I am a cool person!"

"Yeah sure, ask anyone, go on. Is Robbie cool?" Everyone looked at each other nervously.

"We'd, erm, better get going to class." Andre said, and everyone started to follow him.

"Are you coming?" Beck said as he saw I wasn't going to follow Andre.

"No, not yet." He shrugged and smiled at me, before heading after Andre. I saw Tori had stopped by her locker to get some books, and I ran over to her.

"Tori! Hey Tori."

"Hi Cat, come on, we're going to be late!"

"No!" I grabbed her arm. "I need to talk to you before class."

"Cat we haven't got time. Later, maybe?"

"No I want to tell you something now, it's important!"

"Grr. Ok fine, but we can't be long."

She dragged me to a quiet corner by the end lockers. We both sat down on the floor. I looked at her nervously, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well?" She said after a few seconds.

"I've got something very important to tell you!" I blurted out.

"Yes, you said. What is it?" She was getting impatient. I sighed.

"I went to Becks last night."

"And…?" She was urging the conversation on.

"It was fun. We… we had fun."

"Did you go out anywhere nice?"

"No, no we stayed in."

"And what did you do?" She was still oblivious. I thought I was meant to be the dumb one!

"I don't want to say!" Why doesn't she get it yet?

"So you just stayed in and…" a look of realisation dawned on her face. "Cat, you… you're not telling me you had…"

I nodded.

"…sex?" I winced at the word.

"Don't say it out loud!"

"I'm not the one who did it!" She had a shocked expression on her face. She stared at me in disbelief. I couldn't look her in the eye. I thought it would be ok telling her, but now she'd taken it really badly, I wished I hadn't told her.

"Please don't be angry at me!" I felt tears run down my cheeks. Her expression softened.

"Cat I… I'm not angry, why would I be angry. You're my friend, Beck's my friend. I just…"

She stayed silent again, like she couldn't think of the right words to say. "Just what?" I asked her.

"I just expected better of you."

"What? Why, was it wrong?"

"Well, kinda. You've only been going out with Beck for like… days! And you've already had sex!" I winced again, but she rolled her eyes and continued. "I just thought you wouldn't rush it. You're only young Cat, and…"

"But Jade and Beck did it! And I'm sure half the people in school have. It's not wrong!"

"But your first time should be special! And planned out and…"

"It was special! I love Beck, and he loves me. I've always wanted Beck, always. He was Jade's boyfriend, and Jade's one of my best friends. I hated myself for liking him, I felt dirty and mean!" I felt tears forming once more and I couldn't stop myself. "I always used to look at him and hope he'd look at me like he wanted me, and I thought he did, a few times. It gave me hope, but I hated it because I felt like I was betraying Jade and I love Jade, even though she's mean to me sometimes! And then they split up, and then all the confusing stuff happened. And Beck was mine! And he loved me, and I was just so happy. It all was so amazing, and last night was like… proof. That we should be together. We love each other Tori, and that's all that matters. The s… sex… just happened. And I might have not done it if I'd thought it through more. But I don't regret it."

I sighed, trying to wipe the tears from my face. She was gawping at me, like she couldn't believe all that had just come out of my mouth. She gulped and prepared to speak.

"Cat I… I know you will be careful and… I just want you to know that I love you and beck and want you both to be happy and…"

She welled up slightly.

"Aww Tori!" I laughed and squeezed her hard. She patted me on the head and smiled at me.

"I know, I know. I think of you as like my sister." I gasped. "No no! I didn't mean I think of you as like Trina! No, God no!"

"Phew!"

"Haha! But seriously Cat, I just want to protect you. You've not had much experience with boys and, I just want to make sure you know what you're doing. You always seemed so innocent and now… ahh jeez! You've had sex before me!"

I laughed really hard. "Yeah but, you'll meet the right guy."

"Sooo…" she poked me in the ribs playfully.

"Yeeeaaaah?" I asked back, smiling.

"What was it… y'know… like?"

"What, meeting the right guy?"

"No Cat, the sex!"

"Please can we call it something else?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"I dunno, like… cuddling?"

"Cuddling? Really?"

"Yeah. It sounds cute."

"Fine. How was the cuddling then?"

"Well, it hurt at first. Like hot hard pain. Right between my legs for like a minute."

"Eww, nice. Wait… did you use a condom?"

"Yeah, I put it on him myself."

"Eww!" I looked at her, a bit upset. "I mean, that's very responsible of you Cat." She corrected herself quickly.

"That's what I thought!" I sat up proudly. "The first half an hour we just cuddled… actual cuddling as in hugging, not the yucky sort of cuddling. And kissed a lot. Then we started taking clothes off and kissing really lots and, rubbing, and touching, and then it just got really yucky. And then the yucky sort of cuddling happened. After a while it felt really good. Like a really good massage, but not where you usually get massaged. And then you get these feelings, like rushing through your body. And I couldn't see or hear, and I felt like there were these amazing feelings shooting from… down there… to all over my body. And I go all weak, and I couldn't see, and I was shaking. And Beck had the same, and it was the best feeling in the world!"

I squeaked with excitement, reliving the night in my head. I'd almost forgotten Tori was there. She was gawping at me again; she looked caught between disgust and intrigue.

"It sounds pretty awful to me!" She said at last. "I don't want to be sweaty and shaky!"

"Oh it's not that bad, it's really worth it."

"If you say so."

"Mmmhmm. You can take my word for it!"

"Oh Cat." She said after a few seconds. She was smiling at me, but she looked quite sad at the same time.

"Yeah?"

"I just think it's all a lot at once. All of this with Beck." I glared at her as best I could, but I think I just was wrinkling my face up. But she got the message. "I know you love him! I'm not saying you should slow down, or not see him or anything but… Cat, you're not like other people. You see everything so differently to other people, you're always so sweet and kind and innocent. Now all of this boy stuff, it's just so out of character."

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"Just that it's all really unexpected. When are you going to tell the others?"

"I don't want to!"

"You're going to have to! I don't want to keep any more secrets. Besides, Beck may already have told them."

"Oh, I didn't think of that!"

"Well, if he hasn't, you should tell them at lunchtime. They are your best friends after all."

"I could tell them I suppose. Unless… you tell them?"

"What? No way Cat, you're the one who did it, you should tell them!"

"Oh please Tori! Do it for me. I am your sister now, remember you said?" I made a cute face, which I find convinces people when words don't work.

"Oh… fine! But you deal with them if they ask you questions!"

"Kk!"


	13. Well Your Friends

Arrggh guys, last chapter before my internet's switched off for a week! I've stayed up until 2:30 in the morning to write this, so I hope it's good! I'm absolutely shattered, could be quite a few typos! Anyway, great chapters will be heading your way once my internet is back in about a weeks time (could be as long as 10 days though I'm afraid) but it will be worth the wait. Honestly, I am going to spend a long time this next week writing chapters for you all. :)

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><p>Ch13<p>

I went to first lesson with Tori, and got very told off for being late. I sat down hard in my chair, but squeaked slightly in pain. I definitely needed some time to recover after the night before. I was glad I'd told Tori about it first, and now she was going to tell the others it would be a lot easier. I kept looking over at Beck. He kept looking over at me. We kept catching each other's eyes and grinning at each other. Tori was sat next to me, and kept nudging me. She was probably trying to make me pay attention to the teacher. But I was ignoring her.

At the end of the lesson, I waited back and made Tori wait with me.

"When are you going to tell them?"

"Soon!"

"How soon?"

"I dunno…"

"Lunchtime maybe?"

"Ok fine. Keep Beck and yourself out of sight when I tell them. It's going to be awkward enough."

"Thankyou thankyou thankyou!" I said, hugging her tight. She patted me on the back.

"You owe me big time."

"I know, I'll buy you lunch today!"

"You don't have to buy me lunch! Come on, we don't want to be late for another lesson."

The next lesson was with Sikowitz. I realised that we were going to carry on with the play we had started the day before. I really didn't want to do it, so I decided to put my acting skills to the test.

"Urrgghh!" I moaned as I came in through the classroom door.

"Just what I want to hear when a student walks into my class! Where is your annoying enthusiasm today?"

"I feel ill."

"Oh ill! What's wrong? Is it infectious?"

"Yes I… I think so!"

"Oh my Grief! Stay where you are! Don't come any closer to me! Do you want to go home?"

"No, I just think I should sit down for a while."

"By all means, sit! We are going to carry on with the play today; I shall stand in for you."

I felt so relieved. I sat and watched the rest of the play. It was quite funny watching Sikowitz helping to plot a murder. He seemed very good at it, scarily good. The others kept glancing at me. They all knew I was faking it. I was fine the lesson before, and they knew I felt uncomfortable playing a character that was plotting to kill Beck's character. I didn't mind they knew, it made it less awkward for them also if I wasn't in it.

At the end of the lesson, Beck rushed up to me.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine I was…" I looked around to check no-one was listening and whispered "pretending".

"Yeah I thought you were." He looked relieved. "But just to make sure you are ok…"

He leant down and kissed me. My hands reached for the back of his head and pulled him down further so I didn't have to stand on tip-toe. His hands reached around my back and pulled my body right up to his.

"What the devil is going on?" We broke apart and spun around to face Sikowitz, his mouth hanging open. We had completely forgotten he was still in the room.

"It's…"

"We…"

We both just stood there, thinking of what to say. Sikowitz burst out laughing.

"Oh you do know how to liven up my day! Go on then, what's going on?" He was beaming at us.

"We're… kinda dating now."

"Oh, how exciting! Does this mean you and Jade are no longer…"

"Yeah, it does."

"So this is why you didn't want to be in the play!" I felt my face go red.

"What? Err… I mean…"

"Don't worry Cat, I knew you weren't ill. You'll have to do better than that next time, awful acting."

"Oh phooey."

"Yes well, off to class you two. Don't dawdle!"

We rushed out of the classroom.

"Well, that could've gone a lot worse. If it was any other teacher."

"Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"Err, I told Tori about last night."

"Oh."

"That's ok, isn't it?"

"Yeah, they have to find out at some point. When are you going to tell the others?"

"I'm not."

"Do you want me to tell them?"

"No, Tori said she'd tell them."

"And she's ok with that?"

"Yeah I think so."

"Well, that's sorted then."

"But we have to hide for a bit while she tells them."

"Hide? Perfect."

"Why?"

"There's a store cupboard with our names on it for lunchtime."

"… Why does a store cupboard have our names on it?"

"No it's… it's just an expression. It means I know the perfect place to spend lunchtime… y'know… alone."

"Oh! That sounds good." I smiled at him.

The rest of the morning went as normal. Apart from Tori kept looking around nervously. Probably wondering what she was going to say. Or how Jade would react. She caught my eye a few times and I smiled encouragingly, but she just looked a bit hopeless.

"What's up with Tori?" Beck leaned across to whisper to me.

"She's all worried about telling the others about us."

"Oh right. I'm sure it will go fine."

"But what if it doesn't? What if Jade freaks out and hurts Tori! It will be my entire fault; I was the one who asked Tori to tell them, it should be me Jade's hurting, not Tori!"

"Hey, calm down. It will be fine, Jade won't react badly. I mean, sure, it may take her a while to get used to the idea of me having sex with other people… let alone her best friend. But she'll get over it. Trust me."

"I do trust you, more than anyone."

"Well that's a good thing." He leaned quickly closer to kiss me.

"Hey hey, what's going on at the back there?" The teacher had seen us.

"Oh, err, nothing, sorry."

"It had better be nothing."

The bell went for lunchtime, and everyone rushed out the doors. Tori was especially quick. I led Beck to my locker so I could put my stuff away.

"Ok, so where are we going?"

"Store cupboard?"

"Ooh, yay!"

"What are you two whispering about?" Andre had come up to talk to us.

"Nothing!" I yelled. I felt Beck tense up a bit behind me. Andre looked at us suspiciously.

"We were just… talking about stuff you really don't care about. Soppy, relationship stuff, don't worry about it."

"Alright… cool." He still looked suspicious. "Are you coming to lunch?"

"No!" I said, probably a bit too quickly.

"What she means is, not yet. We were going to go in a bit."

"Ok, I'll see you in a bit."

"That was close." I said after he walked away.

"Yeah, let's go before anyone else sees us and wants to chat."

We ran to the old store cupboard by the gym. It was not used very often anymore and hardly anyone ever passed by it. Beck locked the door behind us as we ran in.

"Now we can't be disturbed."

He came towards me with a hungry look in his eye. He kissed me full on in the mouth and his arms wrapped around me bringing me right up close next to him. I felt dizzy again and warm and tingly. All of my normal thoughts leaked out of my head, and there was just one thing on my minds as we were stood pressed up against each other.

"Mmm, more."

"Mmm, what?"

"Beck please." I had started whimpering and I could tell he was getting a bit over excited. He looked at me worriedly.

"What, here? Now?"

"Yeah."

"But I thought you were… sore and everything."

"I… don't… care…"

"Oh right, but… we're in school!"

"I… don't care!"

"Ok, sod it!" He kissed me fiercely and I let all my feelings take over me. I moaned softly and he ran his lips down my neck, sucking and biting. I freed my hand and lifted his chin up. I then did the same to him. It felt good, like I was letting out my raw desire on his neck. He hissed as I bit him and bit too hard, so I pulled my head back up and kissed him again. He started rubbing his crotch against mine. I felt warmth spread through my body and I started to whimper a bit. I wanted nothing else in the world than to just have him as soon as I could.

I pulled at his shirt and started to unbutton it. He slid it off easily and then started bulling at my shirt. I slipped it over my head quickly and unhooked my bra. He yanked it off roughly, causing me to feel a bit in pain as the straps pinged on my back.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Its ok, just, carry on."

He slipped off his pants and kneeled down to unbutton my jeans. He slid them down my legs and I wriggled them off. He stood up but then looked confused as he saw my face.

"What's wrong?"

"We can't though… y'know."

"Why?"

"You need… protection."

"Oh that!" He pulled out his wallet from his pants that were lying on the floor and opened it. He produced a foil packet out of his wallet.

"Always with me… for situations like this."

"Oh thank God!"

We both laughed and moved towards each other again. He held my back with one hand and the other he used to run his fingers through my hair. Both my hands were on his back pressing him against me as much as I could. I could feel the now familiar sensations starting to happen and I was getting all sweaty.

"Beck, now, come on!"

"Ok, err, hold on."

He pulled his boxers down and there it was again. I looked away, and then scowled at myself. I was such a baby. He put on the condom and then knelt down again. He pulled down my panties slowly, teasing me again. He looked up at me and smiled. I stood there with wobbly legs, and couldn't take much more.

"Beck, please." I begged him, starting to shake all over. He slid my panties to the floor and I stepped out of them. He stood up and faced me.

"Ready?"

"Yes, please Beck!"

He pushed me up against the wall and held me up. I closed my eyes waiting for the first stabbing pain to come. As he pushed inside me I felt like screaming out loud. I bit my lip and scrunched up my face trying to stop myself.

"Are you ok?"

I nodded, but I felt tears drip down my cheeks. He stayed completely still, just holding me there for a few minutes as I waited for the pain to stop. It did, just about.

"Ok, ok go."

He slowly moved in and out of me and I felt pain once again, but also pleasure. I nodded, telling him to keep going. He did so, a bit faster. I moaned, which encouraged him even more. I was struggling to stay on my feet, he was holding up most of my body weight just by holding under my arms. My eyes were going all blurry and I felt my muscles starting to tighten.

"Ahh, Beck!"

"Mmm, yeah."

"Keep, going!"

He was starting to shake himself, and he was struggling to hold me.

All of a sudden I felt my muscles clench and I orgasmed so strongly I couldn't control my body. I fell on top of Beck and we fell onto the floor together. He had orgasmed at the same time as me, and he was panting like a dog. I could hardly breathe, my legs were still jerking and I had a ringing sound in my ears. It took a few minutes before my body started to function normally again. I was lying face down on top of Beck, who was still out of breath. We caught each other's eyes and just stared for a moment. We then started to laugh. I laughed so hard my sides were hurting. But that was probably from Beck holding me against a wall as well.

"Arggh, ouch." He said after we'd calmed down.

"What hurts?" I asked him.

"My arms, my head."

"Why does your head hurt?"

"I think I cracked it as we landed on the floor."

"Well I'm going to say ouch too."

"Why?"

"Apart from obvious places. I think I've pulled a muscle in my side."

"Maybe not our best idea."

"No… but it was fun!"

We stood up and pulled our clothes on. We turned to face each other.

"God, we look a mess." He said softly.

"Oh, look at my hair! It's all messy."

"And our clothes and… oh God."

"What?"

"I think I've left a few marks on you."

"Where?"

"Err, well your necks covered in bite marks and red patches!"

"Oh no, yours is too!"

"Well, this is going to look good isn't it?"

"No it isn't!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh, sorry."

"C'mon. We'd better go, Tori will have told them by now."

"Do you think anyone heard us?"

"I don't think so. Let's hope not."

We ran out of the closet and up the stairs. As we went through the doors to the asphalt café, we looked around for any sign of Tori. Or Tori getting strangled by a scary girl with piercings and black clothes. We did see Tori, but she wasn't being strangled. She was just sitting with Andre and Jade. The three of them were staring straight ahead, not moving or saying anything.

"Erm, I think she told them." Beck murmured to me.

"Come on." I said, and pulled him over to the table where they were sitting.

"Hey guys!" I said, in a voice I tried to make sound cheery but came out all shaky.

They all looked around to me. Then they all looked at Beck. Then they all turned to the position they'd been sitting in moment s before.

Beck looked like he was summoning up the courage to say something. "Look guys, I know it's a bit of a shock but we're both legal! And we both know what we're doing, and I know it'll take a while to get used to it but…"

"Beck, just do us a favour and shut up, will ya?" I was so shocked to hear something like this come out of Tori's mouth.

"Tori! Why are you being so mean?"

"Because Cat, we've just had the fucking shock of our life thanks to you and your boyfriend there!"

"What have we done?"

"You've created a psychomanic, that's what you've done!" Jade looked furious. I was starting to get scared.

"Why! I'm so confused."

"That makes two of us." Beck looked annoyed. "Can you just tell us what we've done wrong?"

"Look, guys, it's not their fault." Andre motioned for us to sit down. We did, both of us equally worried about what we were going to hear.

"Look, we were all just sat here calmly, about to eat our pizza." I looked at the table and suddenly noticed they didn't have trays. Andre saw me looking and pointed to the floor behind him. There were four tray scattered on the floor with pizza and pudding lying everywhere. I gasped and Beck's eyebrows shot up.

"Anyway, Tori told us she had a really important thing to tell us. We listened. Well, Jade told her she didn't care about the thing, but Tori spend a while trying to get her to listen and…"

"Oh jeez, let me tell the story if you're going to take all day!" Jade butted in. "Basically, Tori told us about your fucking session last night," I hissed at her bluntness but she ignored me, "and then Robbie just went insane. Completely off his head. He yelled and threw his tray over there, and then threw our trays and started yelling. And then he stormed off, bawling his little eyes out."

"And then thirty seconds later, you two arrived." Tori looked pale, and close to tears.

"Why the hell did he do that?" Beck looked more confused than I had ever seen him.

"Well, err, I think I know." Tori looked around at us.

"Why?" Jade, Andre and Beck said in unison. I had a funny feeling I knew what she was going to say.

"Well, his yelling was pretty muffled. But I heard him say something about, 'her being mine', and 'how dare he when I love her'. Or something like that." There was a shocked silence.

"So that means that…"

"He loves me?" Oh God, this really wasn't good. I felt my eyes well up. This was not good.

"How can he love Cat? Cat's his friend, but her never really talks to her that much, I mean, he's nice to you and all, isn't he, but not in that way?" Andre looked at me, hoping for an explanation.

Tori spoke before I had a chance. "Maybe… maybe he felt shy talking to you. I mean, you're absolutely out of his league." I shook my head. "Oh come on Cat, look at it this way. You're beautiful and cute and funny. He's a bit of a geek, has a puppet he thinks is alive and wears male make-up. You don't have to be a genius to know that you are out of his league. And he knows it."

"But how can he love me? I've known him for years, how can he love me, I thought he just had a little crush on me!"

"Oh he loves you all right." We all spun round to face Jade as she spoke. "He told me so. I probably should have told you but… ehh, I forgot. It was 9th grade. I hadn't known him long. He knew I was friends with you and he asked me if I could hook him up. I told him to get lost, he was a loser. But he kept bothering me, proclaiming his love for you trying desperately to get me to introduce him. He was scared if he went up to you personally he would put you off. Eventually he gave up bothering me. It just so happens we all became friends with him. He never mentioned it again, but I don't think his feelings went away."

We all stared open-mouthed at Jade. We turned slowly to face each other.

"Oh…. my God!" Tori was shaking she was so shocked. "This is unbelievable! Poor Robbie, how could he not say anything! If he'd just spoken up, you would have understood. Right Cat? You would have understood, right?"

I didn't know what to say. "I, I don't know." I liked Robbie; he was a good friend, but as more than a friend? The thought scared me. I could never, ever be more than friends with Robbie. Even the idea of a date with him, urgh it would be so awkward!

"I couldn't go out with him! It would be horrible, I mean, 'cause he's my friend y'know. I wouldn't want to go out with anyone I'd been friends with for so long! It would creep me out. No chance.

I suddenly heard a loud scraping sound as Beck's chair flew out from underneath him as he stood up and walked out through the double doors.

"Oh no, Beck! Beck, come back!" I yelled, but he didn't hear me. Or he was ignoring me.

"Oh Cat, what the hell did you say that for?" Tori looked angry with me. I hadn't thought, I just spoke without thinking.

"Beck, PLEASE come back!"

What had I done?


	14. Are Doing All The Same Things

I'm back! No more reviews since I left and had no internet :( oh well I don't mind, I know I'm not the best writer in the world, but I really enjoy it so :D.

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><p>Ch 14<p>

Beck still wasn't answering his phone. It had been five whole hours since the incident at lunch. My sheets were soaked with tears as I lay on my bed clutching my phone. I was so stupid. He left school without speaking to me, and when I got home I shut myself in my room. I didn't speak to my Mom or my Dad or my brother. I didn't want to. They had all knocked on my door to see if I was ok, but I yelled at them. I didn't want to yell at them, but I was just so angry with myself. Then there was more knocking at my door.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"Cat, honey, come out of your room!"

"I don't want to! Leave me alone!"

"But sweetie, there's someone at the front door. They want to talk to you!"

"Then tell them to go away!" It was probably Tori, or Andre.

"I don't really want to tell them to go away sweetheart. She looks like she'd hurt me."

"Jade?"

"Yes that's her. Please come and speak to her."

I got up and opened my door. My Mom was stood there. She smiled at me.

"Come on sweetheart."

I went to the door and Jade was stood there. Her arms were crossed and she was tapping her foot.

"Finally! Jesus Cat, you know how to keep a person waiting." She pushed past me without me inviting her in, and headed towards my bedroom.

"Urgh, it's like a sugar princess castle in here."

"Thanks." I said feebly.

"It's not a compliment, sugar princess castles disgust me."

She sat on my bed but quickly shot up again.

"Ew, you bed's all wet!"

"Yeah I was crying."

"Look, Cat…"

"I messed up, didn't I!"

"Yeah you did."

"He will never take me back now!"

"He never will if you talk like that. Stop crying, you're not a baby."

I tried to wipe my eyes dry, but I just smeared my makeup.

"That just looks great."

"I can't help crying Jade! I love Beck, but he won't love me anymore."

"Yeah, now you know how it feels!"

I gasped, and Jade looked shocked at what she just said.

"Sorry, Cat I didn't mean to say that."

"You're right! I deserve it, I did this to you! I am an idiot."

"No you didn't dump me, Beck did! You're not an idiot… well, yeah you are, but not because of this."

"Do you still love Beck?" I asked.

"Cat, I can't…"

"Do you still love him?"

"Don't ask me that, please."

"Do you still love Beck?" I asked again, not budging until she gave me an answer.

"I don't know, ok? I think I don't, but I see him with you and, I just want him back! I miss him so much, if I could rewind to a couple of weeks ago when we were still together, I think I would."

"Then get back together with him, please!" Why the hell was I saying this?

"For fuck sake, no Cat! He loves you, not me! We are over, full stop. You want to be with him, he makes you happy. I want you to be happy, I want…" she sighed "I want him to be happy. Please don't do this Cat."

"Then help me! He's not answering my calls, he must be really angry!"

"He'll get over it. Trust me, he will. Now, let's change the subject. I didn't even come here to talk about Beck."

"You didn't?"

"No. I came to talk about Robbie."

"Oh, I forgot about him."

"Yeah, exactly. He isn't answering calls either, from anyone. Me, Andre, Tori, we've all been ringing him. He won't answer. Andre rang Robbie's home number and his Mom answered. He didn't go home, she can't contact him either."

"He's missing?"

"Yeah, looks like it. His Mom said he does it a lot when he's upset. He goes out for hours at a time, and comes back late at night."

"So the police aren't looking for him?"

"No. His Mom said she'll ring the cops if it gets past 10. But I think I know how to contact him."

"How?"

"You ring him."

"What? Noooo Jade, I don't want to!"

"Come on Cat, you've got to. He will answer the phone for the love of his life…"

"Stop it! You're just making me feel worse."

"Stop thinking about yourself! Ring Robbie now Cat!" She was glaring at me.

"Oh fine!" I picked up my phone and dialled Robbie's number. I nervously put the phone to my ear.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. It looked like he wasn't going to pick up.

"H… hello?"

My heart sank.

"Where are you?"

"Nowhere."

"Go home Robbie, we've all been worried."

"Like you care how I feel."

"Of course I do! Robbie, I'm your friend…"

"Exactly! You're my friend. That's just great isn't it, I get to be your friend, whilst Beck on the other hand, gets exactly what he wants, what I want!"

"Robbie, please don't do this!" I started to cry. Again.

"Save your tears. You don't care about me, I'm just a pathetic ugly loser!"

"No you're not!"

"Get real, Cat. I'm a nobody." Then he hung up.

"Oh Jade, he's really upset!"

"Well, yeah I'm sure he is. He loves you Cat, like seriously wants you."

"But I don't love him."

"Well yeah, he's a moron."

"No he's not!"

"Fine, ok he's not!"

We both sat there for a while without saying anything. Jade stood up after a few minutes.

"I'm going home now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." I said quietly, not getting up. She walked out and showed herself out of my house.

I cried all night. About Beck, about Robbie… about my life. I couldn't do anything without upsetting myself, or someone else. It was Friday, so there was no school for two days. I didn't know what to do, who to talk to. My life was a mess.

On Saturday morning I had a shower and got dressed. I looked in the mirror. I looked pale and tired, with dark bags under my eyes. I couldn't go and see Beck looking like this, besides; I thought it would be better to leave it another day. I decided to go over to Tori's. I needed to be with her right now, she was kind, and understanding. I got my Mom to drive me over there.

I knocked on the door. Trina answered.

"Hi, is Tori there?"

"Oh hi Tori's friend! Jeez, you look awful. Tori's just in the shower, come and wait for her." She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me in. I sat on the couch and she came and sat next to me.

"So, is it all true?"

"Is what all true?"

"About you, and Beck? Are you dating now?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh I see, so you're both still keeping it quiet?"

"No, no. We're just having some problems right now."

"Ah right, guy problems. Well, you've come to the right girl, I mean, I am a relationships expert!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I sure am! Ask me anything you want, go on!"

I thought about it, and decided to go for it. A bit of advice wouldn't help.

"Ok, so I am going out with Beck, but he's not talking to me because I said something to upset him. And also, there's this other boy, Robbie, who's in love with me but I don't love him. He's really angry and upset. So basically, I don't know what to do because I love Beck but I'm scared he's going to break up with me. My friend, Jade, who used to go out with Beck, still loves him, and so I'm scared of upsetting her. And I don't want to break Robbie's heart any more than I have."

"Wow. It's like something off TV! Well, I am sorry but you are going to have to break up with this boy, if it's causing all these problems…"

"But I love him!" I felt fresh tears run down my cheeks.

"Trina, what the hell are you doing?"

Tori was storming down the stairs glaring at her sister.

"Just giving your poor, pathetic little friend here some relationship advice!"

"You made her cry!"

"I was just being honest!"

"I don't care! You aren't allowed to make my friends cry!"

"Fine, I'll just leave then." She hurried off up the stairs.

"I am so sorry Cat." Tori came and sat down next to me and hugged me.

"It's ok. I came to talk to you."

"Why?"

"So you could tell me what to do! I want Beck back!"

"You've not lost him! He's just angry."

"He might break up with me!"

"No he won't! Look, Cat, apologise to him at school on Monday. Tell him how sorry you are. He'll understand, he'll forgive you!" I felt a bit better.

"What about Robbie? He is in love with me!"

"He'll just have to get over it. He can't have you, and he's just going to have to accept that."

"What if he can't live with having a friend that he's in love with?"

"He'll manage! Heck knows I've had to." She brought her hand up to her mouth quickly.

"What?" I said.

"Shit, I didn't mean to say that."

"Tori, what's going on?"

"Look, I didn't want to say anything, but… I kinda love someone too."

"Oh great, you do love me after all!"

"Don't be ridiculous Cat! I don't love you… like that."

"Then who is it?"

She sighed and paused for a moment. "It's… Andre."

"OH MY…"

"Shh!" She clamped her hand over my mouth.

"You love Andre?" I whispered.

"I don't know about love but… yeah I've fancied him for a while now."

"Then go for it!"

"Should I?"

"Yeah!"

"But he's my friend. I don't even think he likes me that way!"

"I didn't think Beck liked me that way, and look what happened. Trust me Tori, you should go for it."

"I'm too scared."

"Then let me ask him if he likes you. If he does, then… you're clear to make your move."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"You've been a really nice friend. I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything but… thanks, Cat." She hugged me tight, and I hugged her back.

"Right then, I'm off to Andre's."

"What, now?"

"Why not?"

"Ok, do you want me to drive you?"

"No, I need a bit of a walk anyway."

"Ok then, ring me when you leave his."

"Oh I will do!"

I left Tori's and headed down the street. I was still pretty bummed about the whole business with Beck but it was nice to have something else to focus on. I never would have guessed Tori liked Andre. They would make such a cute couple. I got to Andre's house in no time at all.

"Li'l Red!" He exclaimed as he opened his front door.

"Hey Andre." I said.

"Are you ok Li'l Red? You look tired."

"I'm fine, thank-you. I was just wondering, could we have a chat?"

"Err, yeah sure we could." He looked a little nervous as he showed me into his house. We both sat down on his sofa.

"So what was it you…"

"ANDRE WHO'S THERE?"

"Grandma, calm down! It's just my friend!" I smiled at his Grandma as she poked her head round the corner.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" She yelled as I heard her running upstairs.

"Sorry about her, she doesn't like strangers."

"It's ok."

"So…"

"Andre, I came here to talk about, people."

"People?"

"Yeah, people. You know when someone loves someone?"

"Yeah, sure."

"And you want them to love you back?"

"Yeah."

"But you don't know if they do?"

"I guess so."

"Do you feel that way for… anyone?" I waited for his response, but he took a minute.

"So it's really that obvious?"

"What's obvious?" My face lit up. So there is someone he likes.

"That I fancy her!"

"Oh thank God! This is sooo great!"

"What's so great?"

"This! She fancies you too!"

"Huh? Jade fancies me?"

"WHAT?"

"Jade fancies me back?"

"Wait… you fancy Jade?"

"Well, yeah. I don't know why, really I don't she's scary, and evil. But underneath all that, man she is hot!"

"B… but you can't fancy Jade! She… what is going on around here!"

"So, Jade doesn't fancy me back?"

"No, no Andre I'm sorry, she doesn't!"

"So then who is it that fancies me?"

I felt like I was backed into a corner with no way out. Should I lie to him? Should I tell him the truth? This could break our whole group apart, but if I kept it to myself I would be a filthy liar. I had to tell the truth.

"Tori."

"WHAT?" It was his turn to be shocked. "How… how did you find this out?"

"She just told me! She hoped you liked her back!"

"How can Tori fancy me, we… we're just friends!"

"I'm sorry, I should never have come here, I've got to go!"

I ran out of his front door. So now I loved Beck, Jade loved Beck, Robbie loved me, Tori fancied Andre and Andre fancied Jade. This was all so complicated, and it was all so stupid! Why was this happening to us? We were just all good friends before, now this could tear us all apart. And it was my entire fault.

If it wasn't for me, Beck would never have loved me and would still be with Jade. Robbie wouldn't love me either. I wouldn't have found out about Tori liking Andre, so I would have never gone to him about it and told him.

This meant if I wasn't around, it would all smooth over. Beck could get back together with Jade, and Robbie could get over me. No-one would have to find out about Andre and Tori's strange crushes. Well, Andre knew about Tori, but maybe he'll end up liking her after all, and get together with her. I knew that this would be better for all of them. I felt so guilty, and there was only one option.

It was time for me to leave them alone.


	15. And My Friends Say

Ch 15

Packing a bag was hard. There was not much room for any nice things apart from clothes and shoes. I had to pack food, and shower gel and stuff. I couldn't take much with me because I had to carry it. I decided I'd go to the hotel a couple of miles down the road. I'd decide what to do from there; I'd taken all of the money out of my savings account so I should be fine.

I sat on my bed, staring at my clock. I had to go when I was sure my parents and my brother were in bed, so I'd leave at about 1 o clock. I thought about leaving a note, but I didn't know what to write. Besides, they were sure to look for me whether I left a note explaining or not. I just had to make sure they didn't find me. People had to realise they were better off without me. I had messed up so much, and I didn't want to mess up any more.

It got to 1 o clock. I picked up my bag and tiptoed out of my room. I unlocked the front door, walked out and locked it behind me. Ok, I thought, this won't be so bad. I set off walking down the street, humming to myself. It would be easy living by myself, with no one to worry about. I could buy my own house! With pink flowers in the garden, and pretty curtains. Oh I was getting ahead of myself.

I arrived outside of the hotel. It was really big, and I hesitated before going in.

"Hello Madam, how can I help you?"

"I'd… like to book a room please."

"For how many nights will you be staying?"

I hadn't thought about this. "Just… two nights for now please." This would give me enough time to think about what to do next.

She looked at me suspiciously. "Please can I see some proof of age?"

I had thought about this, however. "Yeah, sure."

I gave her my Moms old credit card. It wasn't really proof of age, but only adults could have this type of card and I tried to look as confident about it as possible.

"It's all I've got. Sorry."

"This is just fine, madam. Will you be paying with this card?"

"No, no I've got cash."

"Ok madam."

I payed her and she gave me the key to my room. It was really quite easy to get the room; I thought I may have to try a couple of hotels in case some didn't believe I was an adult. I got into my room, and put my bag in the corner. I was too tired to unpack. I curled up on the bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and looked at my phone, and I had 20 missed calls already. People must have noticed I was missing. I looked at the time. No wonder they had noticed I was missing, it was 10 o clock! I turned on the TV.

"_Seventeen year old Caterina Valentine has been reported missing from her home early this morning. The student of the performing arts school, Hollywood Arts, has not been seen since she went to bed late last night. Police are on the lookout, but they are not treating her disappearance as suspicious."_

A big picture of me was on the screen. I shuddered, thinking about how worried my parents must be. Was I making a mistake? Should I have run away? Yes, I decided I definitely was doing the right thing. My parents would get over it. They always said how they wished they'd had a normal daughter, maybe now they'll be happy I'm gone.

I passed the time flicking through TV stations, watching some kid cartoons and some stuff on the music channels. It was quite fun, sat there not doing much. I wish I had someone to talk to though. I thought about Beck. How must he be feeling? He was probably worried, I hoped anyway. I wanted so badly to talk to him. But I couldn't, I knew that.

It got quite late, and started to go dark outside. I still hadn't decided where to go after leaving the hotel, but I'd have to decide in the morning. I took a hot bath, and got into my pyjamas. As soon as I got into bed, there was a loud hammering at the door.

"CAT! Cat, open the door!"

I went up to the door. I hesitated opening it, but I recognised the voice outside and I caved. As soon as I turned the door knob the door was flung open, and I felt myself being dragged into someone's arms.

"For fuck sake, don't do that ever again!" Beck was squeezing me so tight I could hardly breathe. He was sobbing, soaking my hair. I hugged him back and joined in soaking him.

"WHY?" He yelled, breaking away from me. "Why the fuck did you do this? Did you want to kill me, is that what it is? Did you want to scare me into having heart failure? I have been out of my mind with worry, you fucking idiot!"

"I'm sorry! I had to, Beck, you don't understand! I was causing so many problems, it was all my fault. You'd all be better off without me!"

"How on earth would we be better off without you? You are the most amazing, kind, beautiful girl. How could I live without you? Are you really that stupid to think you could just run away? Just leave us all behind, start your life again? You're just a kid Cat, and don't argue!" He yelled as I opened my mouth. "You may think you know how to take care of yourself, but you don't. You know you don't Cat, deep down you know you need me, you need your parents, and your friends!"

"How… how did you find me?"

"The police are hopeless, they are looking all over the state but I knew you hadn't gone far. I came downtown and asked around if people had seen you. I came into the hotel and the woman at the desk told me you had checked in last night, when I showed her your picture. She told me the room number when I told her you had run away."

"Where's my Mom?"

"She's out looking for you. So is your Dad, your brother, Tori and Trina, their Mom, Jade, Andre, Robbie, Sikowitz, half the school!"

"Wh… everyone?"

"Yeah! Cat, people care about you, people love you, why can't you see that? Everyone's been so worried; I've had Jade on the phone to me in tears. Tears, Cat!" I looked at him with wide eyes. Jade was crying about me?

"I'm such an idiot!"

"Yeah you are! But I love you Cat, I really do love you. We just need to sort out your head, ok, because you can't just do this to people! Come here." He pulled me towards him and kissed me. We stayed there for minutes, kissing and clinging on to each other. I was such an idiot, how could I do this to him?

He pulled out his phone from his pocket, still holding me with one arm. "Is that Officer Vega? Yeah, it's Beck. I've found her. Yeah… yeah at a hotel, couple of miles down the road from her house. Yeah, search is off. Thanks, yeah thank you so much for this. Bye." He dialled another number.

"Hey, Tori? Calm down, she's ok! Yes, I've found her! At a hotel, two miles from her house. She's here yes… you want to speak to her?" He handed me the phone.

"Hello?"

"CAT YOU FUCKING MORON! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS WE WERE ALL SO WORRIED SOMEONE HAD KIDNAPPED YOU, OR KILLED YOU! Cat, I swear when I get my hands on you I am going to kill you!"

"Please don't Tori!"

"No I… Cat, I'm sorry! Just don't ever, ever, do this again! You can't just disappear, and expect us not to be worried!"

"I know, I'm sorry!"

"Gimme the phone Cat." I handed it back to Beck.

"Yeah, Tori?" He put the phone to his ear. "Yell at my girlfriend like that again I'm going to kill you. Yeah, I know you were worried, we all were. Yeah, ring your Mom, and Robbie, and Sikowitz. I'll ring Cat's parents, Jade and Andre. Yeah, ok. No I'm going to take her home. See you tomorrow."

"Hey, Mrs Valentine? I've found her. Yeah, she's here with me." He handed me the phone again.

"Mom?"

"What were you thinking? I've been out of my mind; your father has driven the whole state today looking for you. Your brother actually got out of bed to look for you, that's how much he's worried." I gasped; my brother hardly got out of bed for anything on a weekend.

"Mom, I'm so sorry, I swear I'll never do it again, I am so sorry!"

"You had better not! Sweetheart, come home right this instant, I need to see you're ok."

"I will do Mom; I'll see you in a bit."

"Ok sweetheart. I love you so much."

"I love you too Mom. Bye." I hung up.

"Why do I do these things Beck? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with my brain?"

"No, you're perfect. Very nearly. You'd be perfect if you'd accept the fact that people love and care for you, and don't want you to go missing." He kissed me on top of the head again, then took the phone off me and dialled another number.

"Andre? She's here. Dude, I know, don't worry she's not hurt. No, she wasn't kidnapped, she ran off. Search me, I don't know. What? Why was she at your house?"

"Give me the phone!" I said, and took it out of his hand.

"Andre?"

"Li'l Red! I have been everywhere looking for you! What the hell happened?"

"I just… after what you told me, and what I told you, I just realised I was causing so many problems! I thought I'd better go, and that would solve things. But I know now I was wrong, I'm so sorry if you were worried!"

"IF I was worried? Cat, we were all so worried, we thought you could be hurt, or worse!"

"I know, I'm sorry!"

"How could you do this to Beck? He has never been so worried in his life, he hasn't stopped looking for you all day, and the only time he did stop was to ring us all to ask if we'd seen anything. I think you owe him a big apology."

"I know, I really do. Thank you so much."

"For what?"

"For looking for me and caring about me."

"Cat, we all care about you! I'm going to go ring other people from school I asked to look for you. We can talk more tomorrow. See you Li'l Red."

"Bye Andre." He put the phone down.

"I want to go home!" I sobbed into Beck's chest.

"I know, I know." He rocked me slightly. "I just need to ring Jade."

"Hey, Jade? She's here. No, she's not dead, she's perfectly alright. Don't say that, no you won't. Want to speak to her? Oh, err, ok. Fine, see you tomorrow." He hung up.

"What did she say? Is she angry?" I really didn't want Jade to be angry with me.

"Err, yeah, she said she wants to rip your head off."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, she probably won't. She'll have me to answer to if she tries."

"Thanks. Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you know Jade… well; Jade still kinda has feelings for you."

"When did she say this?"

"She said it after… well, after I offended you and you stormed out of school."

"Oh right. So, she wants to get back together with me?"

"No, she knows you don't love her any more. You don't, do you?"

"You think I'd worry this much if Jade went missing?" He said, smiling at me.

"I don't know."

"No I wouldn't Cat. I still care about Jade, but as a friend now, nothing more. You, however, are stuck with me. I love you so much; I never want to let you go, ever."

"Good, I don't ever want to be away from you for a whole day ever again!"

We kissed again, holding each other tightly, to reassure each other we really never wanted to let go of each other ever again.

"We'd better be getting you home. Your Mom will be wondering where we are."

"Yeah, good idea."

As I packed up my bag, Beck helped collect up my things as quick as he could. He carried my suitcase down to his car and we set off to my home. I was glad Beck still loved me, after I managed to offend him at school and nearly gave him a heart attack by running away. I was lucky my friends cared about me so much, or they wouldn't bother being friends with someone who was such an idiot.

I had learnt my lesson. I couldn't run away from my problems. I just had to face them.


	16. Look At What You're Wasting

Arrrggh! Sorry, forgot to comment at the top of the last chapter :0 Anyway, another review, YAY! :D Please if you read my story, I would love love love love a review, even if it was only ten words long it would mean the world to me, even if you just wanted to say if you are enjoying my story, or anything I can improve on. How many more chapters should I write? Anyone have an opinion? I don't know whether to either write about five more chapters (which is sticking to the original plan) or make it longer. What do you think? :)

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><p>Ch16<p>

I had never been so afraid of walking through the school doors. Beck had driven me to school, and was beside me holding my hand.

"It'll be fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure." He looked nervous.

"Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"I forgot to ask you last night. Why was Robbie out looking for me?"

"Oh him. He wouldn't answer his phone when we first started looking for you, but when he saw the news on TV, he rang us up and said he was helping to look for you."

"He must have been so worried."

"Hey, don't get yourself down today. Remember, there will be a lot of people who saw the news, so you're probably going to get quizzed by quite a few people. Just stay calm; I'm here with you all day, ok?"

"Kk. I love you."

"I love you too. Come on, let's face the music." We walked in through the doors. I was gripping his hand so tight my knuckles were white.

"CAT!" I was nearly knocked off my feet as Tori rushed up to me and bowled into me, hugging me.

"Tori, I'm fine, I'm ok!"

She held me at arm's length, looking me up and down. "I thought you could have been hurt, you are ok, aren't you?"

"Tori, I walked down the road and checked into a hotel, that's all!"

"I know, I'm sorry. Thank God you're ok!"

"Hey Li'l Red!"

"Andre!" I yelled, and broke away from Tori to hug him.

"Hey, you gave us one hell of a scare, Li'l Red. I was worried sick."

"Hey Cat!" I heard someone yell my name and spun around.

"Did you think you were being clever? Or was it just for a laugh, like, hey, I'm gonna go and scare my friends to death, to see how they'll react, hmm?"

"Jade, I was an absolute…"

"Fucking moron?"

"Yeah, one of those. I won't do it again, and please don't rip my head off my body, I need it."

"I'll let this one pass. But do it again, its farewell to that pretty little head of yours, you hear me?"

"Yeah I hear you." She hugged me briefly, before turning around and walking away, probably trying not to show anyone she has emotions.

The front doors suddenly flung open and Robbie stormed in. I expected him to come straight towards me, but instead he walked straight past me. He was heading towards Beck.

"How could you? How could you let her run away?"

"Whoa, Robbie, calm down…"

"Don't tell me to calm down, Beck Oliver! You have treated her like dirt, and if you expect me to…"

"How have I treated her like dirt? I spent the whole day looking for her, I was out of my mind…"

"Oh please, save me the sob story. You are only going out with her to get into her underwear, and I you think I'm going to stand by and watch you take advantage of her you've got another thing coming!"

I felt my face go bright red with embarrassment. People had crowded around the two of them, listening to every word.

"I have never once taken advantage of her! We both agreed to have sex Robbie; I didn't force her to do anything!"

"You've been going out for, like, a week! And you've already slept with her! She doesn't understand, this is Cat we're talking about!"

"Excuse me!" I interrupted "but I understand perfectly well! I may be… unusual, and I know I'm childish but I'm not a baby! I don't need you to stick up for me, Robbie; I know what I'm doing!"

"What, so running away was a mature and sensible thing to do? You are a weirdo, Cat, you shouldn't be with someone like Beck, all he needs is a girlfriend who is mature and sane. You're none of those things!"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Beck was going red in the face, from anger.

"What gives you the right to be with her? You don't get her like I do!"

"I get her all right! I love her, and she loves me!"

"You could never love her like I do!"

Beck leapt at Robbie and wrestled him to the ground. Robbie put up a fight, but was no match for Beck's strength, who had pinned him to the ground and was shaking him violently.

"SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"

"No! I'm not sorry, I mean it!"

"Stop it Beck!" I tried to pull him off, but it was no good.

"What is going on here?" Sikowitz came rushing up to us, and parted the crowd of people. Beck jumped off Robbie, and they both stood up.

"Nothing."

"No, nothing."

"Good, glad to hear it. Now I must get to the store down the road before the bell goes, I've completely run out of ketchup."

"Ketchup?" Someone in the crowd asked.

"Yes, ketchup. A cheap option for fake blood. See you kids in a bit." With that he rushed out of the doors.

"Beck, come with me." I led Beck to the store cupboard and locked the door behind us.

"How could you attack Robbie?"

"I didn't attack him! I just got a little too physical, that's all."

"You pushed him to the ground!"

"He called you a weirdo!"

"I am a weirdo!"

"No you're not."

"Look, Beck. I can defend myself; please don't try to defend me. I've had it all before, it's not the first time I've been called a name and it won't be the last time. Thank you but… I think all Robbie needs now is for us to leave him alone. I'll talk to him soon."

"Cat, I hate to see other people talking about you, or being horrible about you."

"Well, get used to it. It's what people do, they can't help it."

"Well, they should help it."

"Please Beck?" I looked at him with my cute face, trying to convince him.

"Ok, fine." No one could resist that face. I decided that I must use it more often.

"Kk. Let's go." I went out of the cupboard. Several people scattered, they were obviously trying to listen in through the door.

"Tori, where's Robbie?" I asked.

"In the toilets, probably crying." She looked at Beck. "Beck, that was mean! He was obviously upset, you didn't have to attack him!"

"I didn't attack him! I just, pounced on him and shook him about a bit!"

"That is attacking him! He couldn't defend himself; even I'm stronger than him!"

"Ok, I'm sorry, fine. And where's Andre?"

"Trying to comfort Robbie."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Ok, so Cat, can I have a word, in private?"

"Yeah sure." Back to the store cupboard again.

"Cat, did you speak to Andre about our conversation?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"I take it that he doesn't fancy me."

"No, sorry Tori, he just likes you as a friend."

"Oh great, fine. But he knows I fancy him?"

"Err, well…"

"Cat?"

"I'm sorry! He told me that he did fancy a girl, and I just assumed it was you, so I started getting all happy about it but then I realised he wasn't talking about you, and I had to tell him, I couldn't lie!"

"This is awful! He's never going to be able to hang out with me properly again now he knows!"

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's not your fault. It's mine, I shouldn't have told you. I just put loads of pressure on you, I'm really sorry Cat."

"Don't worry about it."

"So who is it that Andre likes?"

Oh shit.

"Err… I don't think I can say."

"Come on Cat, I won't tell him I know! Who is it?"

"It's Jade." I expected her to explode. But she didn't.

"Jade?"

"Mmhmm. Please don't be upset, he…"

"I'm not upset."

"You're not?"

"Nope. I knew he fancied Jade already. Sure, I thought he was over her, but it isn't fresh news."

"Wait… when did he fancy her before?"

"Couple months ago. He came to me for help. I thought he'd gotten over her, but now I know he hasn't." She looked really disappointed.

"Oh Tori." I hugged her, and we stood there for a minute, just hugging.

"We'd better get to class."

"Yeah, let's go."

With that we went to get our books for first lesson. Robbie was still in the toilets, but Andre had returned.

"He's locked himself in a cubicle. He won't come out."

"There's nothing more you can do. Maybe we can go speak to Lane at lunchtime, see if he can help him."

"That's a good idea Cat. You know, you really have started to think more maturely recently, I only just noticed though."

I smiled happily. "Yay, really?"

"Well, maybe occasionally. See you in class, Li'l Red." With that he walked off.

"Come on beautiful, we don't want to be late." Beck came up behind me and hugged me.

"I'm coming now." I was glad the others weren't dwelling on the week-ends events, but I wished Robbie wouldn't act so stupidly. I knew he was upset, but I just hoped that maybe he would give up on me. I wasn't ever going to love him, and I needed him to accept that.


	17. But It Doesn't Matter

Three chapters in one day? Lucky people ;). I've changed the names of the chapters because I'd left out a verse of lyrics and it was bugging me, sorry if it's confusing! Ok, this will be the last chapter today, but I will definitely post 1 tomorrow, possibly 2 but no promises. :) Oh and please, please review!

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><p>Ch17<p>

Robbie didn't come to class all morning, so I realised the best option was to go and talk to Lane. If I explained the situation to him, he would probably get what to do.

"So let me get this right." He said, after I'd explained it all to him. "You need my help to know what to do with Robbie?"

"Yeah, that's my biggest problem."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I don't know if he's still in the toilets or if he's gone home."

"Wait here." Lane left me alone in the room. There was a pretty picture of a giraffe on the wall. I loved Giraffes. I sat and had a conversation with the giraffe in my head. The giraffe was a lot happier than I was. Oh well, I suppose if I was the giraffe, I couldn't love Beck. I'd rather be me, with loads of problems.

"Here we are." Lane re-entered the room, dragging Robbie with him.

"Let me go Lane!" Robbie struggled to get away.

"You need to talk this through with Cat. It sounds like you've got some real issues to sort out."

"What's the big deal? So I love her? She's never going to love me!"

"Robbie…" I started.

"Don't explain yourself. I don't care what you think Cat; it's only going to make me upset whatever you say!"

"Robbie, listen to me! I love Beck, but it doesn't mean I don't love you!"

"But you love me as a friend, right?"

"Well… yeah!"

"See?"

"I can't make myself love you, Robbie! I can't! I'm happy with Beck, I love him and want to be with him."

"Beck's a jerk!"

"Don't you dare say that!"

"I said it! And I'll say it again! Beck is a jerk!"

"Grr!" Before I could stop myself I pounced on him. I pulled his hair and yelled at him.

"Don't ever say that! Beck is the best person ever!"

"Whoa whoa there!" Lane pulled me off Robbie and held me back with ease.

"Violence solves nothing."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You're as bad as him." Robbie was scowling at me, and rubbing his head.

"Robbie, I don't want to fall out with you. The only reason you're being like this is because you're jealous. I want you to be my friend, I care about you Robbie! Please, please Robbie, be my friend!" I felt close to tears. Robbie saw I was upset and his face softened.

"I'm sorry Cat, I really am. But I can't be friends with you or Beck now I know you are together. I don't care what you say, he took advantage of you. And I don't want any part of it." With that he stood up and walked out.

I collapsed onto the sofa in tears. Lane put his arm around me. I really didn't want to lose Robbie as a friend. I cared about him so much, and I hated to see him so unhappy. I couldn't see a way out of the situation.

"Lane, what do I do?"

"I suggest you give him some space. Talk to him in a few days; see if you can get him to change his mind."

"Ok. Thanks Lane."

I needed Beck right away. I ran through the school looking for him. I saw him stood talking to Tori and Jade. Tori was talking non-stop as usual. Jade was looking at Beck. Just looking at him, with a distant look on her face. Beck was too busy listening to Tori to notice her. I felt so sorry for her. She was going through the same thing as Robbie, but no-one knew. Except me, and Beck sort of. She was so brave, and kind. She was letting me be with Beck, not spoiling it or kicking up a fuss. Not many people saw that side of Jade. I really admired her for that.

"Hey guys!" I said, running up to them after watching them for a minute.

"Hey Cat." Tori answered, and Beck pulled me next to him and put his arm around me. "How did it go?"

"Not great."

"Oh, why?"

"I pulled Robbie's hair!"

"What? Why did you do that?"

"He was being mean, I went crazy. I'm such an idiot."

"No you're not Cat! So did anything good happen?"

"No. Robbie doesn't want to be friends with me or Beck if we are together. He says you're taking advantage of me." I said sadly, looking at Beck.

"Don't listen to him. He's jealous." Beck squeezed me reassuringly.

"Besides, if you were going to lose a friend, he's the one to lose, right? I mean, he was an absolute freak."

"Jade, don't say that!" Tori looked shocked.

"What, it's the truth!"

"Wait!" I said realising something. "Where's Rex?"

They all thought about it for a second.

"Yeah, good point. I haven't seen Robbie with him for a few days."

"Maybe he's starting to grow out of playing with a puppet?" Beck said.

"No, I don't think so." Tori said. "I didn't think he'd ever grow out of Rex. Usually they're completely inseparable; he wouldn't just quit carrying him around all of a sudden."

"Mmm, strange. Ok, I'm bored, can we go eat now?" Jade started to walk off towards the cafeteria, and we all followed.

As we sat at lunch, we made attempts of laughing and joking, but none of us really felt like it. We all felt sorry for Robbie, and apart from him, we were confused where Andre had disappeared off to. We had nearly finished eating when he appeared at the table.

"Hey guys."

"Where've you been?" Tori asked.

"Robbie's crying again. In the toilets."

"Great. What is wrong with him? It's like he's not just in love with you, he's fucking obsessed." Jade spat the words out at me.

"He can't help it. It's obviously very difficult for him Jade!" Tori argued back.

"Oh please, he's so over dramatic. Why should he get all the attention?"

"He loves Cat! But he can't have her because, a) she doesn't love him and b) she is with Beck!"

"Well I'm sorry, but he's just going to have to deal with it, there's nothing he can do about it!"

"It's not that simple! Being in love isn't just something you can just snap out of Jade!"

"Oh really? Well that's news to me Tori, I hadn't realised!"

She stood up and walked off. Beck and I looked at each other worriedly.

"What the hell was that about?" Andre asked.

"Search me." said Tori.

"Maybe I should go talk to her." Beck started to get up.

"No Beck let me." I stood up quickly and ran after her.

"Jade! Jade, wait up!"

"What Cat?"

"Please don't do this!"

"Don't do what? I'm trying, so hard, but if Vega starts blabbing on like she knows everything… she knows fuck all Cat, that's how much she knows!"

"I know!" I hugged her. "She doesn't know, she doesn't know how you feel."

"Yeah and I don't need her finding out."

"Then you need to come and sit back down."

"No I finished anyway. I'm going for a walk; I'll see you in a bit." I felt so sorry for Jade. I imagined what it would be like to love Beck, but not be able to be with him because he doesn't love you back.

I'm pretty sure I would die.


	18. If We Change Their Minds

This chapter changes everything guys! And it's my only chapter for today, I'm too tired to finish chapter 19, you'll get it tomorrow :). You know, I could just be talking to myself, I don't even know if anyone's reading my story, due to the lack of reviews :'( If you are reading this, please review! Even if it's just one word, one letter, anything! It would make me happy to know I'm not just talking to myself :).

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><p>Ch18<p>

Complicated. One word to describe my life, my friends, my relationship with Beck. Nothing was going the way it should have gone. The next week was spent trying to get Robbie to be our friend again. He would completely avoid me and Beck at all costs. He rarely spoke to Tori, probably because she hung out with me and Beck so much. He would speak to Andre and Jade the most. Even though Jade was still mean to him.

Beck kept reminding me it wasn't my fault; he said that I couldn't help Robbie's feelings for me. I felt so guilty; I went home and cried a few times after school. I wasn't hanging out with Beck outside of school at all, between watching TV and crying, and talking to Tori or Jade on the phone there wasn't much time. I think the whole business with Robbie was stressing us out anyway. We didn't kiss each other at school much in case Robbie saw, and when we did it made me feel guilty.

There was a tense air between Tori and Andre as well. Andre knew that Tori liked him, and so he acted awkward around her and rarely started conversation with her. She avoided eye contact with him and blushed every time they did speak with each other.

Jade was embarrassed. She thought she had made a fool of herself in front of Beck, and so she didn't want to be around him much. So she wasn't around me much either, seen as I was usually with Beck. I felt so sorry for her; nobody else knew what she was going through. If I didn't love Beck so much, I would love for her to get back together with him, to make her happy. Being with him made me so selfish.

The next Sunday afternoon, a week after my whole crazy hotel stunt, it was raining. It didn't rain much in LA, when it did nobody went anywhere. I was sat with my family watching TV, eating a red velvet cupcake. They always cheered me up. At about 5pm, there was a knock at the door. I went to answer it, and Beck was stood there, soaking wet.

"Oh my God Beck, you're soaking wet!"

"I know. I… I went for a walk."

"In the rain?"

He paused for a moment. "Yeah."

"Are you feeling ok?"

"I came to talk to you."

"Oh right. Yeah sure, come in."

I pulled him in and shut the door. We went into my bedroom and I shut the door behind us.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh, well I just thought we should have a talk about… us."

I hated the tone in his voice when he said "us". It sounded all distant and strained.

"What about us?"

He didn't answer.

"Beck?"

"I… I can't do this anymore."

I felt like I was falling all of a sudden, down a very deep ditch.

"What do you mean?" I felt tears coming to my eyes.

"I love you. I love you so much Cat, but I can't do this. Can't you see how much trouble we're causing? Ever since we've got together, there have been nothing but problems, and people have suffered because of them. We can't do this to them, we don't want to hurt our friends…"

"I don't care about them! I care about us, I want us!"

"Don't be selfish! They're our friends!"

"And what about me? You'd rather keep your friends than have me?"

"If I could, Cat, I'd have you forever. But we both know, it's not going to work…"

"I think it's going to work!" I hated lying to him.

"No you don't Cat." He grabbed my hands but I pulled them away.

"NO! Please Beck!" I fell to my knees. It was all too much, I couldn't cope.

"Cat, please don't." He sounded emotionless, and it made me angry. How was he so calm, what did it mean?

"You hate me! You… you don't want to be with me because you hate me!"

"What? When did I say…"

"I can tell! Why do you hate me?" I was curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking myself and sobbing. Beck was stood over me, looking down at me.

"Cat, I'm trying to do this gently, please!" It was working, he was getting upset. "I love you so much, how could you think I hate you?"

"I want you to hate me!" I questioned what just came out of my own mouth. It didn't make sense.

"What? Why on earth…"

"Then I'd understand why you were breaking up with me! I need a reason!"

"Ok, here's a reason." He sat down cross-legged on the floor next to me. "Cat, you are so beautiful, and funny and kind. But sometimes you can be so difficult. I can't cope with the mood swings, and the sudden disappearances. I didn't mind at first, but now we've got all this stuff with Robbie, it's too much for me. I need to do this Cat. If I leave it any longer, we might argue. I want to stay friends with you Cat, which might not happen if we stay with each other until breaking point!"

"No, no." I repeated, shaking my head.

"I'm so sorry. I love you. Maybe one day, when you've… calmed down a bit, and Robbie grows out of his obsession with you. Maybe then we'll give it another go."

"I don't want to wait!"

"You'll have to Cat. I've got to go, I'm sorry."

"No Beck, NO!" I grabbed on to his leg as he stood up. He shook me off and headed out of the door. As we walked past the living room I saw my family watching but I didn't care. As he headed out into the rain I ran out after him.

"Cat, I really do love you." I swallowed, and felt my heart shatter. I had given up.

"I love you too." I kissed him on the cheek. I stood there in the rain and watched him walk away. There were more tears flowing down my face than raindrops. I was alone, I felt empty. I lived for Beck, and now he was gone. It was all over.

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><p>Don't despair! Next chapter tomorrow! As for what happens in it, well not much to be fair. But big things shall happen in the near future, I promise. :)<p> 


	19. Suddenly I Can See

Here's chapter 19! Thank-you for the reviews, they made me happy :). Chapter 20 will be a good one, I'm afraid it could be the day after tomorrow you get it though as I haven't started it yet and it will take some planning. You may be in luck though if I get it all done, I'll publish it as soon as I can. For now, please enjoy this chapter. :)

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><p>Ch19<p>

I couldn't go to school on Monday. I didn't want to deal with telling people myself. Beck would tell them we'd split up, then I could go in on Tuesday and get sympathy. That was what I needed. Sympathy, and hugs and love. Oh and Beck. But I couldn't have him.

I had never cried so much in my life. I never held back emotions, but I'd certainly never cried so much in such a short space of time before. No-one had tried to ring me. Either Beck had told them and suggested I needed space, or they didn't care about me. Who am I kidding, they all cared about me. How many times would they have to tell me?

Red Velvet Cupcakes became my new best friends just for one day. I felt so sick after I ate them, which made me even more upset. There was no-one at home to comfort me. Mum was out all day visiting my Grandma, and Dad was at work. I don't know where my brother was, probably out with friends. I felt lonely, which made me ache for Beck even more.

At 4 o clock there was a knock at the door. I hesitated in answering it, but I had to in case it was Beck.

"Jade?" I said, after I saw who it was.

"Cat, still wallowing in self-pity I see?"

"Beck left me!" I said, sniffing loudly.

"Yeah, I know. He told me."

"I don't know what to do! I need him Jade; I can't cope with being alone!"

"Pull yourself together! For fuck sakes, do you realise how pathetic you sound? It's not going to get you anywhere in winning him back."

"What?"

"You love Beck, right?"

"With all my heart!" I said nodding. She rolled her eyes at me.

"That's sweet." She said sarcastically.

"What do you mean, win him back? Do you think I can?"

"If you let me in your house I'll tell you."

"Oh right. Sorry." I walked towards the living room and she followed me.

"We need to come up with a plan so that he will realise he made a mistake in breaking up with you, and so he'll take you back."

"Ok, you really think he will?"

"Trust me, I know Beck better than you do." I paused for a second, thinking about what she had just said.

"But, Jade?"

"What?"

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because, you are my pathetic friend who obviously needs someone smarter than her to help her overcome a minor relationship problem."

"No, I don't mean that. Me and Beck, we broke up. Why don't you get back together with him?"

"Because, Cat, and I won't say this again! He doesn't love me. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love me, no matter how I feel for them. End of story."

"You're a really brave person. I wish I was more like you."

She blushed, colour tinting her snowy-white skin slightly pink. "No you don't. You're pretty and sweet and kind. It wouldn't do you any good to start acting like me. What you do need to, however, is decide on an action plan."

"An action plan?"

"Yeah. A plan of action."

"How do I decide on one of those?"

"You are going to go to school tomorrow. You'll see Beck there. You need to win him over, and not by begging him, or crying to him, or getting on your knees and clinging onto him and refusing to let go." It was my turn to blush, as I had done exactly that the day before. Jade noticed, but shook her head and carried on talking.

"You need to make him come begging to you."

"But I don't want to trick him! I love him, it doesn't seem like a nice thing to do."

"Do you want him back or not?"

"Well… yeah, I suppose."

"Then trust me. Do as I say."

"Ok fine."

"Beck will avoid you to start with. Don't make an attempt to talk to him. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

"Don't be all sad. You need to act like you normally do, all high-pitched and dizzy."

"I don't act dizzy!"

"Yes you do, now shush and listen. When he sees you're alright, he'll come and try to talk to you. That's you're first victory."

"What?"

"Jesus Christ, you are so slow. He approached you, without you even looking at him. He's the one coming to you, it'll make him feel anxious that you aren't affected, and he'll see you're stronger than he first thought."

"Ohhh, that's good! He said I wasn't calm enough for him! If I don't cry, I'll look calm right?"

"Err… I suppose so. The next thing will be to make him jealous."

"Oh no! No, no I'm not doing that!"

"Come on Cat, it'll be fine. If you make him jealous, he'll feel protective of you and it'll encourage him to make a move on you again, to stop you being with anyone else."

"I want him to make a move on me because he loves me! Not because he is being tricked into doing it!"

"But the reason he'll be doing it is love. If he doesn't love you, he won't feel jealous so he won't step in and try to put a stop to it! If anything this will prove he loves you! It's just hurrying the process of you two getting back together, that's all."

I didn't have an answer. I sat there with a furrowed brow, trying to think over everything she'd just said. She did make sense; there was no harm in trying her plan.

"So how do I make him jealous?"

"Easy. Get in there with Robbie."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me."

That was one step too far. "Noooo, no no no no no. Jade, you're crazy, absolutely nuts! I'm not going to USE Robbie. That's horrible, that's…"

"…definitely going to work. Look, Cat. Robbie will be happy that you finally broke up with Beck; he'll want to get right in there. You don't have to get with him or anything, just hang around with him, and maybe flirt a little bit…"

"No! No way, I can't do that!"

"What do you mean you can't? You're the Queen of flirting; just a twiddle of the hair and a wink, you could get any boy on his knees worshipping you, panting and begging for more…"

"No, I mean I can't do that to Robbie! I can't get his hopes up, and then shatter his heart. No, I'm not doing it." I crossed my arms and pouted, showing my decision was final.

"Fine, do it your way! Just remember though, it's the only way to get him back. Trust me; I've had plenty of practice." With that, she walked out of my house and to her car. As she drove off I congratulated myself silently for being a good person. Jade was right; maybe I was better off not acting like her. I was going to do this my way.

Tuesday morning came too quickly. I got dressed in a baggy jumper and jeans, not my usual cute sparkly style. I didn't feel very cute or sparkly. When I got to school it felt like everyone was watching me, like I was a caged animal. I ignored everybody, but it was hard. I felt like running away, or screaming. I didn't though.

"Cat, how're you doing?" Tori came up from behind me, making me jump. She wrapped her arms around me. I stood rigid, with a blank look on my face.

"I hate my life, Tori. I feel like dying."

"Don't say that. Come on Cat, worse things have happened…"

"No they haven't. I lived for Beck, now there's nothing to live for. Why did this happen to me?"

"Because, Cat, it was causing so many problems. It was making everyone miserable!"

"Why should my happiness make everyone miserable? It's not fair, now I'm more miserable than any other miserable person ever!"

"Cat, I know this is difficult. But it's for the best…"

"We have to get back together! I can't be without him ever, it's only been a day and I've already eaten my whole supply of red velvet cupcakes, and felt really sick, and cried more than ever. I'm sorry Tori, but you don't understand."

I walked away from her, and she didn't follow me. Andre waved at me across the hall but I ignored him. He took it as a sign not to approach me. Jade, I was sure, would be avoiding me all day. She would have taken it as an insult for me to not go through with her plan.

"Err, Cat?" It was Tori again.

"Yes?"

"Has anyone told you about the… incident yesterday?" Oh no. Incidents were never good.

"No, they haven't. Why, what happened?"

"Oh boy. Well, there was a bit of a face-off between Beck and Robbie."

"What?"

"And you can probably guess what their topic of conversation was."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you unfortunately. They started off by Robbie yelling about how Beck was an idiot for dumping you, but then Beck yelled at Robbie saying how that's what Robbie wanted all along, telling him to make his mind up. Then Robbie got angry because Beck had broken your heart and how much you would have been upset. Beck said it was for the best, and how much he still loves you and wishes it would have worked out. Robbie said it couldn't have worked out because Beck was such a bad boyfriend. Then Beck said that no, the real reason they broke up was because of Robbie, there was too much strain on the relationship because of Robbie being a moron and it upsetting you. And then…"

"Then what!"

"Robbie kind of… punched Beck in the face."

"Oh my God! Is he alright?"

"Yeah, bruised a bit on the nose but no permanent damage. I think Robbie damaged a finger doing it, probably broke it."

"Serves him right. Did Beck punch him back?"

"No he just stood there, holding his nose. He didn't say another word to him."

I felt really proud of Beck for not attacking Robbie. I think I would have if he'd punched me. Believe it or not, I was in a better mood after Tori had told me all of this. Beck still loved me, I'd heard it from someone else and that was enough to convince me. He didn't insult me, or even say one bad word against me, according to Tori, and I trusted her. I smiled properly for the first time in two days.

"Robbie got suspended for two days."

"Whoa! Why?"

"A teacher came in just in time to see Beck being punched. The teacher said to him straight away he thought it was best that Robbie went home and spent time cooling off. He got sent to the principle, and was out of school by lunchtime."

"So Robbie isn't in?"

"No, he's not."

"But Beck is?"

"Yeah, he should be." We both looked around. There was no sign of him.

"Maybe he's late. Look Cat, maybe it's best to give Beck some space today. Talk to him tomorrow, see if he'll take you back."

"Jade told me that I should ignore him, and try to make him jealous."

"Since when has it been a good idea to listen to Jade? Look Cat, Jade is an idiot who thinks that acting like that is a good idea, when really it's just going to upset people. Do this your way. Talk to him tomorrow, tell him your feelings and see how he feels."

"Ok. I'm going to class, see you in a bit." I heard the bell ring and rushed off to lessons. Beck was still on my mind for the whole morning. I saw him at the lesson before lunchtime. I did as I was told and didn't go up to him. He looked a mess, he had bags under his eyes and his hair wasn't in its usual perfect state. I suppose I didn't look too great either. At lunchtime, I sat with Andre at a table, and Beck sat with Tori and Jade. There didn't seem to be much talking going on.

"Li'l Red, why is he being such an idiot?"

"Huh?"

"He loves you. Just look at him, this is tearing him apart. Does he really think this is for the best?"

"I don't know. I just wish he hadn't broken up with me in the first place. I want him back Andre!" I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks. Andre rubbed my arm sympathetically.

"I'll talk to him. Make him see sense. Don't you worry Li'l Red; he'll be back with you before you can blink."

"Thanks Andre, you are a very nice friend." He smiled at me.

"I talked to Tori properly about what you told me."

It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. "You did? She never told me!"

"There's not much to tell. She said she didn't love me, just a stupid crush she would get over. It's all cool; we've put it all behind us."

"That's good; I don't think we need any more people falling out."

"That's true."

The bell went signalling the end of lunch.

"I'll see you later Cat."

"Bye Andre."

I spent the whole of the afternoon wondering what Andre was going to say to Beck. Andre always was good with words. When I used to have my freaking out moments, which I don't have so many of now, he was the one who managed to calm me down the best. If anyone could convince Beck to get back with me, it was Andre.

Tori gave me a lift home, as she often did.

"Are you feeling ok now Cat?"

"Yeah I think so. Andre's going to speak to Beck for me."

"That's nice of him."

"He told me that you two talked."

"Yeah, we did. It's all settled, we're just friends and that's all we'll ever be." I noticed she looked quite sad when she said this. I reached over and hugged her tight, causing her to swing the car over on to the wrong side of the road for a second.

"Whoa, watch it Cat!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry, no harm done." She was out of breath with shock. I kept quiet for the rest of the journey home, thinking over the day. If I talked to Beck tomorrow, hopefully we would get back together. If we didn't… maybe I might have to have second thoughts about Jade's plan.


	20. What I Didn't Before

You lucky people! It's quarter to 4 in the morning where I am (England), and I've got school tomorrow... or today I suppose. I've stayed up to write this for you guys! Please please review, make my late night worth it! :)

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><p>Ch20<p>

Beck was by his locker the next day, getting his books. I stood watching him, fighting with myself to whether I should go over there or not. In the end, Andre came up to me.

"Li'l Red…"

"Hey Andre."

"I spoke to Beck yesterday after school."

"You did? What did he say?"

"He got a bit annoyed actually. Told me to mind my own business. I told him to talk to you, but he said he wanted to give you some space."

"I don't want space! I wanna talk to him!"

"Then go over there girl, talk to him!"

I edged my way over to him slowly. What I was going to say when I reached him I had no idea. He saw me approaching and his eyes widened slightly.

"Hey." I said as I came up next to him.

"Hey."

"I want to talk to you."

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Ok then. What do you want to talk about?"

"Why we can't be together."

"Look, Cat, I don't want to have this conversation right now…"

"I want to! Please Beck, I promise I won't cry or yell. I just want to talk."

"Fine. So you want to know why we can't be together?"

"Yes please."

"The same reason I told you on Sunday. It's causing too many problems. I can't handle it Cat."

"I can't handle being without you! Don't you feel the same about me?"

"Of course I do, but Cat we can't be selfish. Think of our friends, think of what this is doing to them! Us being together, it has so far caused Jade to be meaner than usual, Andre and Tori to have to run around and pick up the pieces when something goes wrong and Robbie to go insane. Think what else could go wrong if we carried on going out!"

"But I love you."

"I love you too, but we can't go out anymore, and that's final."

"So are you going to date other girls now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I won't be able to date another girl in a long time. It won't be the same." I could see tears in his eyes.

"We promised no tears!" I said, reaching up to wipe them away.

"No you promised, not me." He said, turning sharply and heading into the toilets.

"How'd it go?" Andre came rushing up to me as soon as he saw Beck leave.

"Awful, Andre he said we aren't going to go out and it's final. That means never!" I said breaking down, crying onto Andre's shoulder as he hugged me.

"It's ok Li'l Red, don't worry. I'm here for you, you don't have to cry."

"Oh my God, what's wrong with Cat?" Tori came rushing over.

"She talked to Beck. It didn't go well."

"Oh no, Cat!" Tori pulled me out of Andre's arms and hugged me herself.

"I'm so sorry."

"I… want… Beck!" I said between sobs.

"I know, I know." Tori was patting me on the head sympathetically.

"Listen Cat, I'm going to go and speak to him again, he's being an idiot…"

"No!" I yelled, grabbing Andre's arm. "It'll upset him more, he won't change his mind!"

"But I don' want to see you cry like this…"

"Ok, I'll stop." I wiped my eyes fiercely with my sleeve and put a half-hearted pathetic smile on my face. "All better."

"No you're not."

"It doesn't matter. Let's go to class."

Beck was just about silent in every single class of the morning. Sikowitz asked him a question and he answered it as briefly as he could before going back to staring into space. The breakup was obviously having as bigger an effect on him as it did of me. So why was he being so stubborn?

I sat at lunch with Tori, Andre and Jade. Beck wasn't at lunch at all.

"So, Beck didn't take you back, hmm?" Jade was smiling viciously at me.

"No. He said his decision was final."

"Final shminal. I know a way of getting him back."

"No, no jealousy." Tori butted in.

"Who told you about my plan?"

"Cat did. You can't tell her to do that, it's irresponsible!"

"You blabbed to Tori?"

"I'm sorry!" I squeaked at her.

"Don't be angry with her!"

"I was only trying to help her! It is the only way she's going to get Beck back."

"No it's not, just give Beck time and he'll see…"

"Oh sure, and just how long is it going to take him. A month? A year? Do you want to wait a year for Beck?" Jade said, turning to me.

"No!"

"Well then, looks like my idea is the best option."

"Cat you can't!" Tori said to me "It's not fair on Beck!"

"Yeah Li'l Red, it's not worth it."

"Beck's worth everything." I said to them simply.

"That's ma girl." Jade said to me, grinning.

"C'mon Cat, Jade's a psycho. You know that, don't listen to her!"

"I need Beck! Jade says it will work, I need to give it a try."

"Good girl! Come with me, we've got some talking to do." I left the table with Jade, leaving Andre and Tori sitting there speechless. They probably were disappointed in me, but I didn't care too much. I only cared about getting Beck back.

"So Cat…" We sat in a quiet corner of the hall. "We need to convince Beck you are coping well without him."

"Right."

"This is where your acting skills come in. Don't speak to Beck directly, but make sure he can see you being your usual bubbly self."

"Got it."

"Now, when Robbie gets in you need to talk to him, convince him you want to be friends with him and there are no hard feelings."

"What does that have to do with the plan?"

"Because you are going to use Robbie to make Beck jealous."

"No! No I'm not, I can't do that to Robbie!"

"Cat, you need to it's the only way…"

"Any other guy fine, but not Robbie."

"Grr, you're nearly as fucking stubborn as Beck. Fine, but it won't work nearly as well as it could do if we used Robbie."

"As long as it works overall, that's ok."

"So what guy then?"

"Andre?"

"That won't work, Andre knows the plan."

"True. Ok then, how about… oh I don't know Jade, there's too many guys in this school!"

"How about that Ryder dude Tori dated last year?"

"Eww, no he was horrible to Tori! Besides, he only goes out with girls in classes he takes so they can help him get better marks. I don't take any classes with him."

"How about if we don't use one specific guy?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have to flirt with just one guy. How about any guy who happens to be talking to you?"

"Oh no, I don't want to look like a… one of those."

"One of what? A slut?"

"Yeah."

"Oh come on Cat. It'll be fine, you're sweet and cute. A bit of flirting won't turn you into a slut, it's not like you have to sleep with any of them. Unless you want to of course."

"Urgh, Jade, really?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't know, maybe after Beck you got a taste for being sexually active, now you're not getting any you might enjoy a bit…"

I covered up my ears. "I'm not listening!"

"Ok, ok, fine. Look, tomorrow you can start with the flirting. Make sure it's only when Beck is watching, but don't make it too obvious or he'll get suspicious. Oh and maybe try to avoid the flirting when Andre and Tori are around, they'll probably rat you out."

"Sounds like a good plan!"

"It is. Stick to it and you'll have Beck back in no time."

"Thank you so much Jade!" I said, flinging my arms around her. She patted me awkwardly on the head, before shoving me off her.

"Ok, that's enough hugging."

"Sorry."

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No, why?"

"Do you wanna come around to mine for a bit? Watch a film, order a pizza."

"Ohh, I like pizza!"

"Ok then. Good." She got up and walked over to her locker. The bell had just gone for afternoon lessons. I went and got my books before heading off to class.

I was a bit confused why Jade had invited me over. I imagined it was because she was feeling a bit lonely. She and Beck hung out constantly after school, so she probably misses the company. Her parents didn't seem like much fun to hang around with. Mind you, parents never really are much fun to hang around with.

I sat in the passenger seat of Jade's car singing Give It Up with her, the song we sang at Karaoke Dokie together. Jade had a really nice voice; I asked her why she didn't sing more often.

"Because I tend to sing when I'm happy, and I'm not always in the best of moods."

"That's really sad."

"Not really, I'm used to it." We got to her house and went up to her room. She had a TV in there so we could watch a film without her parents sitting with us. Her Dad scared me.

"What do you wanna watch?"

"What films have you got?"

"Err, let's see. Paranormal Activity?"

"I don't want nightmares!"

"Saw?"

"Eww no!"

"Saw II?"

"No no! No Saw movies!"

"Chainsaw Massacre?"

"Nothing with blood in it!"

"The Exorcist?"

"Jade! Don't you have any nice films?"

"But these are my favourite films!"

"How about funny films?"

"No, don't think I've got any of those?"

"None at all?"

"Nope."

"Ok fine, we'll watch Paranormal Activity if we have to!"

As she put the disk in, I grabbed one of her pillows so I could hide behind it.

"You have to watch it, don't hide!"

"I'm really scared!"

"It's not that bad. It's tame compared to most scary movies."

I watched with squinted eyes in case something scary happened. I swear I screamed so loud at one point the room shook. Jade's parents never came to see if I was ok, they must have heard my blood-curdling screams.

"You baby!" Jade laughed at me.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

"Nope, just watch! That was the worst bit, the rest isn't scary!"

She lied. The rest was still very very scary. Even scarier in fact. By the end of it I was physically shaking.

"Oh my God you're as white as a sheet!"

"I… I… I hated that!"

"No you didn't, you loved it really. Up for Paranormal Activity 2?"

"NO!"

"I'll order the pizza, and then we are so watching the second one!"

She put Paranormal Activity 2 in the disk player after she got off the phone from the pizza delivery guy. I was hiding behind the pillow before the commercials had ended.

This one was just as scary. Jade's idea of entertainment may have been floating babies and invisible demons who slam doors and drag people down stairs, but it certainly wasn't mine. I had tears dripping down my cheeks in fear. Jade found it hilarious.

"I have never seen anything so pathetic in my life!"

"What is going on? WHY IS THE TOY MOVING ACROSS THE FLOOR?"

"Haahaa, the demon is playing, he need some fun too."

"I hate this, I hate this, mmmmm, Jade I'm really scared!"

Just on time the doorbell rang.

"Pizza!" Jade said, pausing the dvd. I sat shaking while Jade went to pay the pizza guy.

"Here we go."

"I'm not hungry."

"Come on, have a slice." I took a slice and chewed on it slowly. I kept looking around the room for signs of demons. There wasn't any, but it wouldn't surprise me if Jade kept some demons as pets.

"Shall we watch the rest of the film?"

"No!"

"There's only ten minutes left. It's not bad, honestly."

At the end of the film, when the main character's had their neck's broken, I choked on a piece of pizza. Jade had to pat me hard on the back hard so I could breathe again.

"Are you ok?"

"No! I'm traumatised for life!"

"You'll be fine."

"No, I don't think I'll ever sleep again." I looked at my watch. "I think I'd better get home, could you give me a lift?"

"Sure." Jade grabbed her keys.

We got into the car but Jade turned the music off.

"You may have been scared shitless, but at least one good thing came of it."

"What?"

"It took your mind off Beck for a while."

I thought for a minute. She was right, I hadn't thought about Beck for about two hours!

"That is so true! So you invited me over to distract me from Beck?"

"Yeah, and also I needed some company. You have no idea how boring my life is right now."

"Well I… I nearly enjoyed myself. The pizza was good."

"Glad you enjoyed it. See you tomorrow." She said as she pulled up outside my house.

"Bye!" I was glad I got to hang out with Jade. As I lay in bed that night, unable to sleep, I thought about how I was going to get Beck back, and how much help Jade was to me. Really, as much as I complain to myself about her, I was lucky to have her as a friend.


	21. And I Don't Care

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry that I haven't uploaded a chapter in days, I was ill and I couldn't even get out of bed, never mind write anything. :( Good news is I'm a lot better, so back to writing! I hope you guys like this chapter, I need to get back into the flow of the story so it may not be the best chapter in the world but I'm pretty sure it's not too bad. :)

I'm going to do something that I haven't done before, and do a little shout out to my reviewers! :D  
>Joe - Thankyou so much, my faithful fan! :) Your advice is really useful and appreciated<br>d-a - Thankyou for your review(s), they made me smile :D  
>fight4cookies - sorry for not updating soon on this chapter, but I'm glad you like my story, thanks! :)<br>teenwolf987 - wow, can't believe you're "obsessed" with my story, that just makes me giggle excitedly, thankyou so much :D

And to all my other reviewers, thankyou also :)

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><p>Ch21<p>

The next day I was so nervous about the plan that I was shaking all over. People were looking at me worriedly as if I was ill. I tried to keep a smile on my face and focus on being confident. The flirting wouldn't work too well if I was as white as a sheet and mumbling.

"Remember the plan?" Jade walked up from behind me and made me jump.

"Yeah I do."

"Then why are you acting like you've got a gun pointed to your head!"

"Because I'm nervous!"

"Don't be. Just focus on what you're doing this for, or rather who you're doing this for."

"Got it. Wish me luck?"

"Yeah whatever. I'm gonna go get some coffee."

"Ok, see you later."

"Yeah maybe."

I went over to my locker and checked myself in the mirror. I did look a little bit pale but not too bad. I'd put a little bit more makeup on than usual, just for good measure. I didn't usually wear as much mascara as I was doing; it made my eyes look massive. I winked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I decided I looked good.

Beck was already in school. He was stood talking to a bunch of about four girls. I felt jealousy bubble up inside me, but then I noticed he didn't look too happy to be stood talking to them. After a while of them giggling flirtatiously and him ignoring it, they slumped off disappointedly. At least he was keeping his word about not going after any girls.

I saw a guy standing a few metres away from Beck getting his books from his locker. He was a senior, called Jack Whitehead. I knew him, but not very well. He was quite good looking, but not nearly as good looking as Beck. I decided to try out my plan.

"Hi Jack." I said, walking up to him swinging my hips slightly.

"Oh hi… Cat is it?"

"Yeah." I saw Beck's eyes shift slightly towards me but he didn't talk to me.

"Have you had a haircut?" I said, twirling my own hair in my fingers.

"No… why, does it look like I have?"

"Yeah, your hair looks really good today." I reached up and touched his hair gently with my fingers. I saw him shudder.

"Th… thanks. Your hair looks nice today too."

"Thank you, I straightened it this morning. So Jack, are you into sports?"

"Yeah, I'm on the football team."

"Oh yes, I thought you were but I couldn't remember. You're a pretty good player aren't you?"

"Yeah… I mean thanks. I work out a lot, to build up strength, y'know?"

"Mmm, I can tell." I held his arm and squeezed it slightly. Jack gulped, I glanced sideways and I saw Beck's face go red. He was shaking slightly as well, probably angry.

"Err… are you free after school?" Jack asked me, unable to look me in the eye.

"Why, what did you have in mind?" I smiled slightly at him. Beck was stood on the spot at his locker holding a book suspended where he had started to take it out of his locker, unable to move and breathing heavily. It was my turn to gulp, feeling guilty as I had feared I would.

"Well, I just thought you might want to go out and get a drink, or go back to my place…"

There was a loud bang as Beck threw his book on the floor and ran out of school. The whole place fell silent.

"What was that for?" Jack said after everyone had started talking again.

"I've got to go, sorry Jack." I started to run after Beck but stopped. I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now.

I ran to find Jade. She was stood with her coffee texting on her phone.

"Jade, help me help me help me!" She calmly looked at me with a blank expression on her face.

"What happened?"

"I did the whole flirting thing with that senior guy Jack Whitehead and it started off really well, maybe a little too well, I ended up feeling his hair and his muscles, but…"

"That's fine, but did Beck see you?"

"Yeah he was only a few metres away; he could hear everything I was saying!"

"Argh, that's too obvious! He'll know you were doing it on purpose to make him jealous!"

"He ran out of school, he looked all angry and upset!"

"That's fucking marvellous, well done."

"It's not my fault! I just did what you said!"

"Yeah. Yeah you did. I'll be back in a bit."

She grabbed her car keys out of her pocket and jogged off. I was such an idiot, now I'd really upset Beck and made him run off, he probably hated me.

"Hi Cat… whoa, what's wrong with you? And why are you wearing so much makeup?"

"I've been an idiot Tori, I should have listened to you, not Jade, I…"

"Please don't tell me you tried out her stupid flirting in front of Beck plan?"

I nodded silently, tears leaking from my eyes.

"You absolute idiot, what were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, I thought it would make Beck come back to me!"

"Of course it wouldn't, Beck doesn't think that way, if anything you will have pushed him further away from you. I'm sure Jade has tried this little plan with him, but he knows that Jade is a lunatic, but now he's going to think you're trying to punish him!"

"I don't want to punish him!"

"Well you just have done so congratulations!"

I burst out crying, sobbing loudly.

"Come on now Cat, stop crying."

"I… can't I want… Beck back now!"

"I know you do sweetie, trust me I know. Come here, it'll be alright."

She hugged me gently and I sobbed onto her shoulder. We stood there for a few minutes. I didn't care that people were walking past, probably looking at us weirdly. They could look as much as they wanted for all I cared at that moment. When I finally pulled away from her I looked at her shoulder and there were black mascara puddles where my eyes had been. She looked at my face and smiled slightly.

"You look like a panda bear!" She said. She handed me a mirror out of her bag and I looked at myself. I looked like someone had punched me in both my eyes as there were two massive splodges of black.

"Sorry about your shoulder." She looked at her shoulder and noticed the stains.

"It's alright; I've had worse on me. Do you remember when I got Trina's mouth blood all over me when I had to look after her?"

"Eww, yes I do!"

"Bit of mascara isn't that bad then, is it?" I smiled at her and she smiled back and handed me a tissue to wipe my eyes.

"There, you see? Everything's going to be fine. Just in the future, listen to me, not Jade. Got it?"

"Yeah I have."

"Come on, let's get to class."

We started heading over towards the classrooms. I saw Robbie and did a double take. I had totally forgotten he would be back in school after his suspension. He didn't see me though, probably for the best.

"Where's Jade?" Tori leaned over to whisper to me in class as the teacher babbled on about stage directions.

"She ran off after I told her what happened with Beck."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but she took her car keys out of her pocket."

"Let's hope she's driven far away. For a long time."

"Tori!"

"I'm just kidding… well, no I'm not. She says worse things about me!" I shook my head at her.

"How do you think Robbie's doing?"

"I'm sure he's had enough time to think about things. Hopefully he may be a bit saner now that he's been suspended from school. It may have knocked some sense into him."

"I might go and talk to him later."

"Oh Cat, please be careful. I don't want you to be involved in any more fall outs, not after today. We need to sort things out, things are just one huge mess right now with you and Beck and Robbie."

"I need to make friends with him. I'll be nice!"

"I know you will, when are you ever not nice?"

"Quiet at the back please!" The teacher yelled at us so we shut up.

I saw Beck in second lesson. He hadn't obviously run far. I was too embarrassed to even look at him for long, and he still looked pretty upset. Jade was there too, heck knows what she had been up to. I decided I needed to find out.

"Jade." I whispered, trying to get her attention.

"Jade. Jade. Jade!"

"What?" She edged her way over to me. It was Sikowitz class and he wasn't paying attention to any of us. He was in his own little world reminiscing the days when he was an extra on a film which had Brad Pitt starring in it.

"Where did you go?"

"To save your love life. Properly."

"What?"

"I went after Beck. I knew where he'd gone, he always drives off to the park when he's upset and sits in this tree. Anyway, I explained to him it's my fault you did what you did, how I convinced you how it was a good idea and how you were really sorry. He understands, it's me he's angry at now, not you. Well, he's a bit angry at you. But not so much now."

"You did that for me?"

"Who else is it benefitting?"

"Thankyou so much Jade, you're an amazing friend."

"Shut up, whatever. I'm going to go sit over there now."

"Ok bestie!" She didn't appreciate my new affectionate term for her.

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry."

I was so happy that she'd done this for me, she didn't have to but she did. I still needed to convince Beck to get back together with me and I needed to make friends with Robbie. I thought it was pretty impossible. But the day had just begun.


	22. What They Say Anymore

Here's chapter 22! Up nice and quickly for you! I hope this chapter is a good one, I'm sure you'll like it. I'm going to carry on talking at the end of this chapter so I don't give anything away, but it is important what I've got to say so please read it after you've read the chapter.

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><p>Ch 22<p>

"Beck! Beck, wait up!" I ran after Beck after morning lessons to talk to him about what happened.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Beck please, I'm sorry! Please don't be mad."

"How could I not be mad! After all I said about not going after girls because of you, you go and rub it in my face? How could you be so thoughtless, do you even care about me?"

"Yes I care too much, I care about you and I want you back! It was Jade's idea; she said you would come back to me…"

"Trying to make me jealous was never going to work! I'm not a jealous person; all that you did this morning was confirming you don't love me anymore."

"I do love you! I love you so so much Beck, please you have to understand I love you!"

"And I love you. I love you more than you can appreciate so don't assume you can just trick me into getting back with you! Just stay away from me Cat, please just stay away from me."

"No, I won't! Beck, I'll never leave you alone ever again! I need you Beck, I need you with me. I can't live without you, I won't live without you! Beck, please!"

"Cat, you're causing a scene, please stop."

"Then tell me you'll get back together with me." I was on my knees bawling, clinging onto his leg. He teetered on the edge of saying something, before shaking me off and walking away.

I was left on my knees in the corridor sobbing. People walked past me as if I wasn't there, like I was invisible. I felt a strong pair of arms suddenly lift me off the floor and hold me upright.

"Cat, come here, you'll be ok, he'll realise soon that he needs you as much as you need him." Andre held me in his arms and rocked me backwards and forwards.

"When! I… need… him!"

"I know, soon baby soon. Don't worry, you don't have to worry."

"C… Cat?" I turned around away from Andre and saw Robbie stood there. I wiped my eyes and stood there staring at him, trying to think what to say. I didn't need to say anything, because he spoke again.

"I'm an absolute idiot Cat, and I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but the way I acted caused you so much pain, and I never wanted that to happen. I realise now how much Beck means to you, and how much you mean to him. I also realise how much your friends mean to you, but you and Beck should be together. I was wrong."

"Robbie, why did you attack Beck, why are you so angry with him?"

"I was angry with him because I love you Cat, I was foolish and jealous. I'm not angry anymore, there's no point. I'm so sorry that I've caused all this. If there's anything I can do…"

A brainwave suddenly hit me. "Talk to Beck."

"What?"

"Talk to Beck. Tell him exactly what you just told me. Please Robbie, it may just convince him to get back together with me. Make it clear you don't have a problem with it, show that you are sorry."

"But Cat, he's going to be really angry with me!"

"Andre, will you go with him?"

"Sure thing Li'l Red. I just hope it works."

"So do I." The two boys nodded at me, Robbie rather nervously, and they went off to find Beck. Meanwhile, I had to find Jade.

Jade was sitting by her locker eating a bagel. I ran up to her.

"Well well, what are you so excited about?"

"I'm not excited, I'm nervous!"

"Why?"

"I spoke to Robbie, and…"

"Lucky you, so has he finally turned sane?"

"Yes, but he's speaking to Beck right now, saying how sorry he is and how he wants things to work out with me and Beck!"

"Great, hope it works out for you."

"You could sound a lot more interested!"

"What's the point, Robbie's an idiot, like anything that comes out of his mouth is going to make a difference."

At that point, Tori was walking past us and didn't notice us. I shouted to her to come and sit down with us.

"Eurgh, Cat why'd you call her over here?"

"Because Jade, she's my friend, and she's yours too!"

"Vega is not my friend."

"Aww Jade, you know you like me really."

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Guys!" I interrupted. "Tori, I spoke to Robbie."

"What happened? Are you friends now?"

"Yeah, but also he went to speak to Beck, to say how sorry he is and that he wants me and Beck to be together."

"Oh great, so are you and Beck back together now?"

"Not yet, he only just went to talk to him."

"It might just work, y'know!"

"Grr, can you two not talk so loud? You're giving me a headache."

"You are so miserable, can't you just be happy for your friend…"

"Shh you guys, here comes Robbie." I jumped up and ran up to him. Judging by the look on his face his talk with Beck didn't go well.

"How'd it go?"

"Eh. Well, to start with he listened. He also nodded a bit. But when I finished talking, he just walked away without saying a word. Andre walked off after him, but I don't think it did much good. I'm so sorry Cat." I felt my stomach sink with disappointment. What felt like my last chance to get back together with Beck was blown.

"It's ok. Really, I'm sure you tried your best."

"I did, and I really am sorry, I want you to be with Beck."

"I know."

"Cat, did it go well?" Tori came up to join us, followed by Jade.

"No… no I don't think so." I stuttered, holding back tears.

"Li'l Red! Li'l Red!" Andre came rushing up to us.

"Get outside! Beck wants to speak to you!"

I ran out without saying a word. I looked around frantically and saw Beck sitting on the grass outside the main doors with his back propped up against a tree. I ran up to him, and when I stood next to him looking down at him, he looked up at me and smiled slightly.

"Sit." He said, patting a spot on the grass next to him. I did as I was told.

"I just spoke to Robbie." He said.

"I know you did, so did I."

"Good. Well, do you believe he wants us to be together?"

"Yes, I really do, he was really sorry, I know he wasn't lying!"

"Ok, ok. So does this mean that us being together won't be causing any big problems for everyone else?"

"Yeah, it does!" I was shaking with excitement and squeaking.

"Wait, I didn't say I'd get back together with you just because of that." My face sunk.

"Wh… what?"

"Caterina Valentine, I love you and never want to let you go again. But there's one condition. Do you love me the same?"

"Yes, I really do Beck, I love you!" He smiled at me and stood up. He offered me a hand and pulled me up.

"Then Cat, I am so sorry for breaking up with you. I was stupid and blind. I won't ever do it again, and I want to be with you until I die. You mean a lot more to me than anyone else on this planet."

"I'm really sorry for being an idiot and crying so much, and for flirting with boys to make you jealous. That definitely won't happen again!"

"Good. You couldn't help the crying, I know that. But the flirting wasn't appreciated."

"I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. It's all forgotten." He smiled down at me before leaning his face towards mine.

Our lips collided and I felt relief and victory fill every bone in my body. I let my hands feel all over his back, and his head and his arms, taking him all in after what had felt like years apart. I breathed in deeply and let his smell fill my lungs. I felt complete again.

We walked back into school hand in hand. People's heads turned in our direction, as they often did. We walked straight up to our friends, still stood in a little group. When they saw us walking together, every single one of their faces turned completely shocked.

"So… so you to are…"

"Yep. We're back together."

Shouts filled our ears as Tori, Andre and even Robbie and Jade gathered around us and hugged us in a big group.

"This is brilliant! Thank God, I was worried you two had split for good!"

"Yeah, Li'l Red congratulations!"

"Now are you two going to going to do us a favour and stop acting like a pair of idiots and just stay together?"

"I am so sorry, I swear I'll never get between you two again, I'm sorry for all I said I really am!"

I only had ears for one person however, and as the group of us moved apart Beck took my hand and started leading me out of school.

"But what about afternoon lessons?"

"Sod lessons for one afternoon, you're more important."

He led me to his car and lifted me into the passenger seat. He got in himself and started the engine.

"How about my place?"

"Sounds good." I giggled.

All the way there I couldn't stop looking at Beck, so relieved that he was back with me. Even though it had only been a few days, I was nearly going crazy without him. How I managed before we got together at all I don't know.

When we got back he lifted me out of his car and carried me into his trailer. I loved being carried.

He lay me down on the bed before locking us in. He came up to me and lay down propping himself over me.

"I'm never going to let you go again." He said simply, before kissing me. I moved my hands to the back of his head, forcing my lips against his hungrily. He ran his hands down my waist then up my stomach and all over me. I was already sweating and my legs were shaking.

"I… missed you… so much."

He started unbuttoning my shirt and slipped it off me in no time at all. I sat up slightly so he could undo my bra, which went flying across the room. His mouth moved to my neck, drawing circles with his tongue and nibbling my skin gently. I shuddered underneath him, getting so riled up before we had really started.

"Hurry Beck, please."

He slipped his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his jeans, slipping them off. He then leaned down and started kissing my neck. Then he moved his lips down my stomach, blowing a raspberry on my tummy.

"Haha, stop Beck, it tickles!"

He unbuttoned my own jeans, and slid them off me. He then got to my panties and started drawing circles with his finger where my clit was.

"Off, please." My hips were shaking slightly, and I felt the muscles in my legs start to clench.

He slid my panties slowly down my legs and flung them to the other side of the room. He got up and pulled the familiar square package out of his drawer. He slid his tight boxers off and opened the packet. Once the condom was in position, he turned his attention back to me.

He leaned over me, kissing me all over my body. He moved from my neck to my breasts to my waist to my tummy to my hips, kissing and nibbling and licking me all over. I lay there enjoying his mouth, but urging him to do more.

His mouth made its way to between my legs. He kissed my knee before trailing kisses up my inner thigh before he got to the top of my leg. He stopped and did the same to my other leg. I was getting frustrated.

"Beck, please, come on."

This time he kissed the opening between my legs, gently over and over again. I squirmed slightly. He moved his mouth away and used his finger, stroking up and down. I felt very warm and excited already. He then applied a bit more pressure to the sensitive part at the top, drawing circles. I squirmed even more, my hips moving up quickly towards him.

He held my hips down with his hands as he moved his mouth back to where my hand had been. He licked me up and down slowly, teasing me. Then he started to push harder, making me feel dizzy. He was struggling to keep my hips still, which had started jerking violently.

He stuck his tongue right into me, and my vision went blurry. I started to moan quietly as he moved his tongue in and out of me.

"Ready?" He said to me after a few minutes of using his tongue. I nodded, too busy panting to answer him properly.

He shifted so his face was directly over mine. He smiled down at me before kissing me on the nose. I felt him enter me slowly, and I winced, still not used to the sensation. He kissed me once more on the nose, reassuring me.

He moved in and out of me slowly, whilst kissing me passionately. I moaned against his lips as he started thrusting in and out of me faster. I felt my muscles start to tense up and there was a ringing in my ears. I had started to shout, whilst Beck's hips moved at astronomical speed. My whole body suddenly tensed up underneath him and I started to jerk about, my legs shaking. I felt the orgasm fill up inside me, giving me the feelings of intense pleasure that I had experienced only a few times before.

Once the feelings had died down, Beck started to thrust inside me again. I was sore, but soon I felt the feelings start to build up inside me once more. He kissed me all over my face and my neck, and when he found my lips I kissed him back, channelling all my love I felt for him through the kiss. I hit orgasm again, and shrieked out loud, Beck orgasming as well, moaning loudly as he collapsed on top of me. We lay there together, sweaty and shaking, but satisfied.

"I love you… so much." I said to him, barely able to breathe as I was tired out, and Beck's weight was pressing down on me.

"I love you too." He rolled off me and lay next to me on his side. I moved my back against his chest so he could cuddle me and we lay there together enjoying the moment. I was so happy I could fly. I was with Beck, and so my life felt complete.

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><p>YAYYYY!<p>

Now I hate to say this, but don't you think that's a great place for the story to end? :'( I know, I know. But, if anyone objects to the story ending please review! Tell me how I should carry it on, because I really have no idea. I need good suggestions, or if not tell me that this is a good place to end the story.

So, this may be a goodbye. Or maybe not. Please review, and if I'm not going to carry it on I'll leave a message on my profile page saying so. If not, then I'll speak to you next chapter, after you've reviewed! :) x

BTW I'm writing a new story, an iCarly one which is a basic Seddie story, but it's looking really good so please check it out when I post it! I promise it will be worth your time.


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